We never know when the natural disaster will shatter an area and that is why the government should take every precaution to protect its citizens from natural disaster. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
In today’s modern world, we are constantly bombarded with the issue of natural disasters happening around the globe. Thus, some people assert that preventing the occurrence of natural disasters is merely the responsibility of government as they believe they can do nothing in preventing it from happening. Nevertheless, I think that cooperation between people and government is essential in protecting citizens from natural disasters.
Undoubtedly, a government has the largest obligation to take the practical measures to prevent natural disasters from happening. They can, for example, employ those scientists and geologists to predict the time of occurrence of disasters. By knowing when there will be a natural disaster, the government can then take the effective prevention to mitigate the potentially dangerous effects on human lives. To illustrate, to tackle the problem of the tsunami which may cause the death of inhabitants, the government should allocate a portion of the money to improve the current drainage system and to build barriers near the sea-coast. Thus, it is apparent that government has more power to lower the potential risks of natural disasters from happening and its effects on the citizens.
However, it is not to say that citizens have no responsibility to protect themselves from natural disasters. They can take little but could prove useful ways in dealing with this problem. For instance, parents should educate their children from young to behave well by not simply throwing rubbish into the drains and rivers which may eventually cause blockage. This kind act is proved to be useful in preventing natural disasters like flooding. In addition, they should also take part in a campaign which gives information of what can be done by citizens in order to minimise the negative impacts of natural disasters on human beings. Although there are limited actions that an individual can take in dealing with this problem, the possible negative impacts on humans can still be reduced if every citizen plays their own part.
In conclusion, it is the responsibility of both government and individuals to mitigate the unanticipated impacts of natural disasters on human beings. I believe our nation will continue to prosper and flourish in the years to come and the citizens can be free from disasters.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant wording Original: today’s modern world Suggested revision: today’s world Why it matters: Today’s and modern convey the same time reference, so using both is redundant.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: bombarded with the issue of natural disasters happening Suggested revision: confronted by natural disasters occurring Why it matters: The original phrase is wordy and treats disasters themselves as merely an issue.
- 3. Add definite article Original: responsibility of government Suggested revision: responsibility of the government Why it matters: Government needs the definite article when referring to the national institution.
- 4. Fix verb pattern Original: do nothing in preventing it from happening Suggested revision: do nothing to prevent them Why it matters: Do nothing takes a to-infinitive, and the pronoun should refer to the plural disasters.
- 5. Clarify both parties Original: between people and government Suggested revision: between citizens and the government Why it matters: The definite article is required before government, while citizens matches the group named in the task.
- 6. Correct preposition Original: in Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Essential takes for when introducing the purpose or result it supports.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: largest obligation Suggested revision: greatest responsibility Why it matters: Greatest responsibility is the natural collocation for the principal duty described.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: take the practical measures Suggested revision: take practical measures Why it matters: The general plural noun phrase practical measures does not require the definite article.
- 9. Remove vague determiner Original: employ those scientists and geologists Suggested revision: employ scientists and geologists Why it matters: Those requires previously identified people, but no particular scientists or geologists have been introduced.
- 10. Use concise phrasing Original: the time of occurrence of disasters Suggested revision: the timing of disasters Why it matters: Timing expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 11. Use correct collocation Original: take the effective prevention Suggested revision: take effective preventive measures Why it matters: English uses take preventive measures rather than take prevention.
- 12. Clarify the threat Original: the problem of the tsunami Suggested revision: the threat of a tsunami Why it matters: The original definite noun implies a previously identified tsunami, while the example refers generally to a possible event.
Suggested Rewrites
- today’s modern world today’s world
- bombarded with the issue of natural disasters happening confronted by natural disasters occurring
- responsibility of government responsibility of the government
- do nothing in preventing it from happening do nothing to prevent them
- between people and government between citizens and the government
- in for
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, balanced position that gives government the leading role while explaining how citizens can contribute, and its paragraphing supports an easy-to-follow argument. Its main limitation is imprecise development: some proposed measures do not clearly match the named disaster, and frequent awkward collocations weaken otherwise relevant ideas. Use more technically credible examples and edit each claim for precise cause-and-effect wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a consistent qualified position and develops relevant responsibilities for both government and citizens, despite some questionable examples.
Match each precaution to a specific hazard and explain clearly how it would reduce either the likelihood or impact of that disaster.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through government and individual roles, with clear paragraphing, although linking is sometimes mechanical and a few internal connections are imprecise.
Let topic sentences establish each paragraph's logic and use fewer formulaic transitions where the relationship between ideas is already clear.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of disaster-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as 'take the effective prevention' reduce precision and naturalness.
Use standard combinations such as 'take preventive measures,' 'reduce the risk,' 'issue warnings,' and 'mitigate the effects of a disaster.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts a variety of complex structures, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, pronouns, and clause construction limit grammatical control.
Check every complex sentence for a clear subject and verb, then proofread articles and singular-plural agreement before finalising it.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
We never know when the natural disaster will shatter an area and that is why the government should take every precaution to protect its citizens from natural disaster. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.