We never know when the natural disaster will shatter an area and that is why the government should take every precaution to protect its citizens from natural disaster. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
People have established a government to lead, guide, and care for the whole country. A government always knows its sworn responsibility and one of it is to assure the wellness and security of the citizenship from disasters, man-made or naturally caused. I agree that the government is responsible and accounted for keeping its citizens from natural disasters, to keep them informed and provide safety and rescue measures once a disaster had already occurred. It is necessary for a certain individual to know what he should do in case of emergencies and so relevant information would serve as a vital role to save oneself from a disaster. The government should disperse information for the preparation of the entire community before catastrophe could happen. An example would be safety tips during and after an earthquake. As a student before, we were exposed into an earthquake drill so we were somehow taught what to do during an earthquake. So when a real earthquake occurred, we just stayed calm and did what we have practised. Moreover, a government is also reliable to save the people injured so rescue facilities should be sent to places which have been affected. Trained professionals and volunteers, rescue mobiles, and other related rescue units are the appropriate ones to be dispatched. Like floods, which usually occur in most regions of our country, rescuers used to save the victims through rescue boats and retrieve them from their affected homes. Overall, the government should keep its responsibility for the safety of its people from naturally caused disasters through the use of relevant information, and necessary facilities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural wording Original: established a government Suggested revision: established governments Why it matters: The plural and uncountable general reference better describe the institution people create.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: responsibility Suggested revision: responsibilities Why it matters: The following one of structure requires a plural set of responsibilities.
- 3. Correct the pronoun Original: it Suggested revision: them Why it matters: Them must refer back to the plural responsibilities.
- 4. Correct the collocation Original: assure the wellness Suggested revision: ensure the well-being Why it matters: Ensure well-being is the natural expression for protecting people's welfare.
- 5. Refer to people directly Original: security of the citizenship Suggested revision: safety of its citizens Why it matters: Citizenship is a status, while citizens are the people being protected.
- 6. Use parallel adjectives Original: man-made or naturally caused Suggested revision: whether man-made or natural Why it matters: The parallel adjectives classify the two types of disaster clearly.
- 7. Correct the construction Original: responsible and accounted for Suggested revision: responsible for Why it matters: Responsible for is the correct adjective-preposition pattern; accounted for has a different meaning.
- 8. Use precise protection verb Original: keeping Suggested revision: protecting Why it matters: Protect from clearly expresses the government's duty.
- 9. Use parallel gerunds Original: to keep them informed and provide Suggested revision: keeping them informed and providing Why it matters: The coordinated items must match the preceding gerund protecting.
- 10. Use present perfect Original: once a disaster had already occurred Suggested revision: once a disaster has occurred Why it matters: The present perfect suits a general event that precedes the response measures.
- 11. Use inclusive wording Original: a certain individual Suggested revision: each individual Why it matters: Each expresses that emergency knowledge is necessary for everyone.
- 12. Correct the collocation Original: serve as a vital role Suggested revision: play a vital role Why it matters: English uses play a role rather than serve as a role.
Suggested Rewrites
- established a government established governments
- responsibility responsibilities
- it them
- assure the wellness ensure the well-being
- security of the citizenship safety of its citizens
- man-made or naturally caused whether man-made or natural
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay takes a clear position and develops two relevant responsibilities—public preparedness information and emergency rescue—with concrete earthquake and flood examples. Its main limitation is the breadth of the argument: rescue after an event is not itself a precaution, and the claim that government should take every precaution needs fuller discussion of preventive planning, resilient infrastructure, warning systems, or realistic limits. Prioritise developing that distinction explicitly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is supported with relevant education and rescue examples, but preventive precautions and the extent of responsibility are only partly developed.
Distinguish prevention, preparedness, and response, then explain why ‘every precaution’ is justified or should have practical limits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument moves recognisably from public information to earthquake preparation and rescue response, but one long paragraph limits structural clarity.
Use separate body paragraphs for preparedness and emergency response, each with a clear topic sentence and concluding link to the position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for disasters and government action, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as ‘wellness of the citizenship’ and ‘rescue mobiles’ reduce precision.
Use ‘public safety’, ‘disseminate information’, ‘emergency preparedness’, ‘rescue teams’, ‘vehicles’, and ‘disaster response’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains generally understandable, but frequent errors affect agreement, articles, pronouns, prepositions, tense, and clause construction.
Simplify long sentences and ensure each government responsibility is expressed with a clear subject, controlled tense, and correct verb pattern.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We never know when the natural disaster will shatter an area and that is why the government should take every precaution to protect its citizens from natural disaster. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.