Some people believe that doing an enjoyable activity with children can develop their skills and creativity better than reading books to them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many opine that engaging in enjoyable pursuits with young children is more effective in developing their skills and creativity compared to reading books to them. I firmly disagree with the notion. In this essay, I will present arguments to explain that reading books plays a crucial role in shaping a child's intellect and nurturing their creative potential that enjoyable activities alone can not ensure.
While pleasant activities have their advantages in creating a bond between parents and their children, reading plays a unique and indispensable role in shaping a child's intellect and fostering creativity. This is because, books open doors to worlds beyond a child's immediate environment, exposing them to diverse ideas, cultures, and perspectives. Research indicates that reading to children enhances their language skills, vocabulary, and comprehension, all of which are critical components of effective communication and cognitive development.
Moreover, reading books to children introduces them to complex characters and situations, stimulating their critical thinking and empathy. For example, reading fairy tales allows children to explore ethical dilemmas and moral dilemmas, fostering their ability to discern between right and wrong. Therefore, reading books is an indispensable part of a child's educational journey. Books also serve as a source of inspiration for young minds, allowing them to dream big and envision a brighter future. The imaginative world created through reading fuels their creative thinking and problem-solving abilities, equipping them to face challenges with innovative solutions.
In conclusion, doing enjoyable activities with offspring may have some benefits, but when it comes to fostering their creativity and developing important soft skills, reading books to them has no alternatives. Therefore, parents should always make time to read to their children to nurture their creative development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural reporting phrase Original: Many opine Suggested revision: Many people argue Why it matters: The revision identifies the people holding the view and uses a natural reporting verb.
- 2. Fix adjective preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: “Effective” takes “at” before a gerund in this construction.
- 3. Complete direct comparison Original: compared to reading books Suggested revision: than reading books Why it matters: The comparative adjective “more effective” pairs directly with “than.”
- 4. Clarify relative relationship Original: creative potential that enjoyable activities alone can not ensure Suggested revision: creative potential in ways that enjoyable activities alone cannot Why it matters: The added phrase correctly links the claim about creativity to the contrasting activities.
- 5. Use direct benefit phrase Original: have their advantages in creating Suggested revision: can help create Why it matters: The modal construction states the benefit more directly and naturally.
- 6. Remove incorrect comma Original: This is because, books Suggested revision: This is because books Why it matters: A comma must not separate “because” from the subject of its clause.
- 7. Remove repeated noun Original: ethical dilemmas and moral dilemmas Suggested revision: ethical and moral dilemmas Why it matters: The shared noun can follow both coordinated adjectives without repetition.
- 8. Use natural distinction verb Original: discern Suggested revision: distinguish Why it matters: “Distinguish between” is the standard collocation for identifying opposing concepts.
- 9. Use formal aspiration phrase Original: dream big Suggested revision: develop ambitious goals Why it matters: The revision expresses aspiration in a more precise academic register.
- 10. Reflect multiple imagined settings Original: The imaginative world created through reading Suggested revision: The imaginative worlds encountered through reading Why it matters: The plural noun better reflects the range of fictional settings introduced by books.
- 11. Use natural family term Original: offspring Suggested revision: children Why it matters: “Children” is the natural term for young family members in this context.
- 12. Use singular fixed phrase Original: alternatives Suggested revision: substitute Why it matters: The claim concerns reading as a single irreplaceable practice, so the singular expression is appropriate.
Suggested Rewrites
- Many opine Many people argue
- in at
- compared to reading books than reading books
- creative potential that enjoyable activities alone can not ensure creative potential in ways that enjoyable activities alone cannot
- have their advantages in creating can help create
- This is because, books This is because books
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops a persuasive account of how reading supports language, critical thinking, empathy, and creativity. Its main limitation is that several supporting claims remain broad and the comparison with enjoyable activities is asserted more than directly analysed; the highest-priority improvement is to test the two approaches against the same specific skills using a concrete, well-explained example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear disagreement and develops several relevant benefits of reading, although the direct comparison with enjoyable activities is somewhat limited.
Compare one specific shared outcome, such as creativity, across both approaches and support the judgment with a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the reader smoothly despite some repetition of reading-related points.
Link each supporting claim more explicitly to the central comparison and vary repeated references to reading.
Lexical Resource
A broad and often precise vocabulary communicates nuanced educational ideas, with only occasional awkward choices such as “offspring” and “has no alternatives.”
Prefer natural collocations and measured academic phrasing over expressions that sound inflated or absolute.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex sentences is used with strong overall control, while a few punctuation and clause-structure lapses remain.
Remove unnecessary internal commas and recast awkward relative clauses so complex relationships remain fully controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that doing an enjoyable activity with children can develop their skills and creativity better than reading books to them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.