Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Others, however, think that it is a waste of valuable school time and has no value. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The inclusion of international news in the secondary syllabus is supported by many while opposed by others. This essay will explore both viewpoints but would argue that even though international news can be a great source of knowledge and information from time to time, it does not necessarily mean that it should formally be included in the school curricula.
Those who support teaching international news to secondary students form their view on the fact that it would enhance the knowledge and view of the learners making them aware of the world and issues surrounding it. This way we will have more conscious and responsible youths who would not be afraid to take responsibility to tackle important issues. For instance, youths who know about the important issues that are happening in the world are often not afraid to express their opinion and take action, no matter how small, to solve environmental, social and political problems.
On the other hand, the opposers of having international news in secondary school syllabus believe that most secondary school students have rather tender minds and hearts, and as such, they will not be able to make sense of the many negative and controversial things that take place all over the world daily. After all, we do not live in an ideal world. Most news media today provide “biased” news which sometimes could not be any farther from the truth, and these young children just do not have the required cultural, social, economic and political awareness to penetrate the biased news, to separate the facts from fiction. On top of that, secondary school children already have to study many difficult subjects, such as math, language, physics, chemistry, social science, history, and geography, and adding one more subject to that list would only create more pressure on those children.
In conclusion, the concept of adding international news in secondary school is both welcomed and opposed by many. If we analyse both views with an objective mind, we will have to agree that including international news as a school subject at a secondary level is not such a good idea, after all.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete the contrast Original: while opposed by others Suggested revision: but is opposed by others Why it matters: The contrasting passive clause needs its auxiliary verb and a clearer conjunction.
- 2. Match verb forms Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: Use the future form to coordinate consistently with "will explore".
- 3. Remove vague timing Original: a great source of knowledge and information from time to time Suggested revision: a valuable source of knowledge and information Why it matters: The time phrase weakens and obscures the intended description of its value.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: form their view on the fact that Suggested revision: base their view on the belief that Why it matters: Views are normally based on a belief rather than formed on a fact in this context.
- 5. Choose precise nouns Original: enhance the knowledge and view of the learners Suggested revision: broaden learners' knowledge and perspectives Why it matters: This wording expresses the intended educational benefit more naturally and precisely.
- 6. Correct preposition pattern Original: take responsibility to tackle Suggested revision: take responsibility for tackling Why it matters: The noun "responsibility" takes "for" followed by a gerund here.
- 7. Use standard noun Original: the opposers Suggested revision: opponents Why it matters: "Opponents" is the standard noun for people who oppose a proposal.
- 8. Add the article Original: in secondary school syllabus Suggested revision: in the secondary school syllabus Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase requires a determiner.
- 9. Clarify the action Original: penetrate the biased news Suggested revision: critically evaluate biased reporting Why it matters: "Penetrate news" is not a natural collocation for assessing media reliability.
- 10. Use fixed expression Original: the facts from fiction Suggested revision: fact from fiction Why it matters: The fixed expression is "separate fact from fiction".
- 11. Correct curriculum phrasing Original: adding international news in secondary school Suggested revision: adding international news to the secondary school curriculum Why it matters: A subject is added to a curriculum rather than added in a school.
- 12. Choose precise wording Original: the world and issues surrounding it Suggested revision: the world and the issues affecting it Why it matters: The revision identifies the relationship between global issues and the world more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- while opposed by others but is opposed by others
- would will
- a great source of knowledge and information from time to time a valuable source of knowledge and information
- form their view on the fact that base their view on the belief that
- enhance the knowledge and view of the learners broaden learners' knowledge and perspectives
- take responsibility to tackle take responsibility for tackling
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, consistent position, supported by a balanced and logically organised discussion of both perspectives. Its main limitation is that several claims—especially the benefits of studying international news—remain broad, while occasional awkward wording reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each central argument with a more specific causal explanation or concrete example and express those links through more natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views, maintains a clear opinion, and supports its main ideas with relevant explanations, although some claims remain general.
Develop the supporting view with a more specific example and explain more precisely how studying international news produces the claimed benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally make the relationship between the two viewpoints clear.
Use less formulaic transitions and strengthen the links within longer arguments so that each supporting point follows more naturally from the previous one.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently varied vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, though awkward choices such as references to opposers and penetrating biased news reduce naturalness.
Prioritise accurate collocations and natural noun choices when expressing abstract ideas about education, awareness, and media bias.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of complex structures with generally clear control, despite occasional article, agreement, and sentence-construction errors.
Proofread complex sentences for articles, subject-pronoun agreement, and clause attachment to make otherwise strong structures consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Others, however, think that it is a waste of valuable school time and has no value. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.