It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
From a traditional viewpoint, people opine that inborn abilities vary among individuals, while a contending outlook suggests that training can transform any child into a proficient individual in specific domains. I align with the conventional approach, as I believe that genetics underpin the upper limit of one’s potential, even though training can enhance one’s performance to some extent. In essence, innate abilities, rooted in genetics, set a fundamental boundary that training can augment but not surpass. In the upcoming discussion, both perspectives will be critically examined.
From one perspective, the evidence supporting spontaneous talent is exemplified by numerous renowned personalities, like Shakespeare, Einstein, and Pele, whether musicians or professional athletes, who never received formal training or specialized instruction during their formative years. Moreover, many of these individuals emerged from impoverished backgrounds with limited resources. This raises questions about the influence of talent on success, given that well-endowed students with superior resources should logically outperform their less fortunate peers if inherent talent is not a pivotal factor.
On the contrary, talent, in isolation, does not guarantee success. It must be coupled with diligent practice and unwavering effort. Even the most naturally gifted individuals, like Leonardo da Vinci and Newton, must continually nurture and enhance their abilities through relentless practice and learning. As a result, celebrated singers and sports personalities invest hours daily in specific exercises to preserve the quality of their intrinsic talent.
To sum up, while a combination of self-development, resolute commitment, hard work, and meticulous nurturing enables the preservation and maximization of ingrained talents, I firmly believe that talent is undeniably a pivotal factor in achieving success. (268 words)
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural reporting Original: people opine Suggested revision: some people believe Why it matters: The revision is more natural and less needlessly formal.
- 2. Use the correct phrase Original: a contending outlook Suggested revision: an opposing view Why it matters: 'Contending outlook' is not a natural label for the contrasting position.
- 3. Name the ability clearly Original: a proficient individual in specific domains Suggested revision: a skilled performer in a particular field Why it matters: The revision connects proficiency more clearly to sport or music.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: the conventional approach Suggested revision: the former view Why it matters: This reference points more directly to the first of the two views just introduced.
- 5. Use a precise verb Original: underpin Suggested revision: determine Why it matters: 'Determine' expresses the claimed relationship between genetics and potential more directly.
- 6. Match the boundary metaphor Original: augment Suggested revision: approach Why it matters: Training can approach a boundary, whereas augmenting a boundary changes the intended meaning.
- 7. Use academic phrasing Original: upcoming Suggested revision: following Why it matters: 'Following discussion' is the more natural forward reference in an essay.
- 8. Use the intended term Original: spontaneous Suggested revision: innate Why it matters: The paragraph concerns inborn ability, not talent that occurs spontaneously.
- 9. Fix the category mismatch Original: whether musicians or professional athletes Suggested revision: drawn from different fields Why it matters: The listed figures do not all fit the two categories named by this modifier.
- 10. Avoid ambiguous wording Original: endowed Suggested revision: resourced Why it matters: 'Well-resourced' clearly refers to access to resources and avoids an unintended meaning.
- 11. Use a softer contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: However Why it matters: The paragraph qualifies the role of talent rather than directly disproving the previous claim.
- 12. Improve the collocation Original: preserve the quality of their intrinsic talent Suggested revision: maintain and refine their natural abilities Why it matters: The revision expresses how practice affects ability in a more natural way.
Suggested Rewrites
- people opine some people believe
- a contending outlook an opposing view
- a proficient individual in specific domains a skilled performer in a particular field
- the conventional approach the former view
- underpin determine
- augment approach
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response states a clear opinion, follows a controlled structure, and demonstrates strong command of complex sentences and ambitious vocabulary. Its main limitation is task development: the second view is reframed as the need for gifted people to practise, rather than examining whether any child can be trained to become good at music or sport. The priority is to address that claim directly with balanced, logically sound support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives and a clear opinion are presented, but the training paragraph does not directly examine the claim that any child can become proficient.
Explain directly how far training can develop an ordinary child's ability, then weigh that against innate limits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is clearly organized and progresses smoothly, though the introduction repeats the central position and some examples do not connect cleanly.
Condense the introduction and make each example explicitly support the paragraph's controlling claim.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and sophisticated vocabulary, although some choices such as 'spontaneous talent' and 'contending outlook' sound unnatural.
Use precise, idiomatic wording instead of elevated expressions whose meaning or collocation is uncertain.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied, controlled, and mostly error-free, with only isolated agreement or modifier problems.
Refine long sentences so every modifier has an unambiguous referent and number agreement remains consistent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.