Some people think that technological development decreases crime in society while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
No doubt technological progress has profoundly shaped modern society, but their impact on crime remains a subject of considerable debate. While some argue that technological advancement has significantly reduced criminal activities through surveillance and law enforcement tools, others contend that it has, paradoxically, facilitated more sophisticated crimes. This essay will discuss both perspectives before asserting that technological development, despite its benefits, has ultimately encouraged crime.
On the one hand, proponents of technology argue that it acts as a powerful deterrent to crime. Advanced surveillance systems, such as CCTV cameras, facial recognition, and biometric authentication, have made it increasingly difficult for criminals to operate undetected. Additionally, digital forensic tools enable law enforcement agencies to track cyber criminals, decode encrypted messages, and prevent potential attacks. For instance, police forces worldwide have successfully used artificial intelligence and data analytics to predict and prevent criminal behaviour, significantly lowering crime rates in some urban areas.
However, others argue that technology has inadvertently enabled criminals to commit more complex offences with greater anonymity. The rise of cybercrime, including hacking, identity theft, and financial fraud, demonstrates how technology can be exploited for illicit purposes. For example, sophisticated ransomware attacks have targeted major corporations and government institutions, causing severe economic and security disruptions. Furthermore, encrypted messaging applications and the dark web provide criminals with secure platforms to engage in illegal activities such as drug trafficking and human exploitation, making detection and prosecution significantly more challenging.
In my view, while technology has enhanced security measures, it has also empowered criminals with new tools to evade detection and execute more sophisticated crimes. The increasing reliance on digital platforms, coupled with vulnerabilities in cybersecurity, suggests that technological advancement has ultimately encouraged criminal activities rather than eliminated them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Refine opening adverb Original: No doubt Suggested revision: Undoubtedly, Why it matters: The adverb gives this formal opening a smoother grammatical connection to the clause.
- 2. Match singular antecedent Original: their impact Suggested revision: its impact Why it matters: The singular noun phrase “technological progress” requires the singular pronoun “its”.
- 3. Use concise collocation Original: reduced criminal activities Suggested revision: reduced crime Why it matters: “Reduce crime” is the more concise and natural collocation.
- 4. Improve crime collocation Original: facilitated more sophisticated crimes Suggested revision: enabled more sophisticated forms of crime Why it matters: “Forms of crime” fits the intended category meaning more naturally.
- 5. Specify the stance Original: proponents of technology Suggested revision: proponents of technology-based security Why it matters: The more precise phrase identifies the particular use of technology being supported.
- 6. Clarify paired actions Original: predict and prevent criminal behaviour Suggested revision: predict criminal behaviour and prevent offences Why it matters: The revision gives each verb a more natural and logically distinct object.
- 7. Mirror the contrast Original: However, Suggested revision: On the other hand, Why it matters: This linker more explicitly balances the earlier “On the one hand” paragraph.
- 8. Clarify modifier Original: complex offences with greater anonymity Suggested revision: complex offences while remaining more anonymous Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the criminals, rather than the offences, have greater anonymity.
- 9. Correct verb collocation Original: execute more sophisticated crimes Suggested revision: commit more sophisticated crimes Why it matters: The standard collocation is “commit crimes”.
- 10. Tighten phrasing Original: coupled with vulnerabilities in cybersecurity Suggested revision: alongside cybersecurity vulnerabilities Why it matters: The shorter phrase preserves the relationship without the heavy passive construction.
- 11. Fix comparison reference Original: criminal activities rather than eliminated them Suggested revision: crime rather than eliminated it Why it matters: The singular uncountable noun and pronoun create a clear parallel contrast with “encouraged”.
Suggested Rewrites
- No doubt Undoubtedly,
- their impact its impact
- reduced criminal activities reduced crime
- facilitated more sophisticated crimes enabled more sophisticated forms of crime
- proponents of technology proponents of technology-based security
- predict and prevent criminal behaviour predict criminal behaviour and prevent offences
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response discusses both perspectives directly, sustains a clear opinion, and supports each side with specific, well-integrated examples from surveillance, digital forensics, ransomware, and encrypted platforms. Its main limitation is that the concluding judgement could compare the relative scale of prevention and technology-enabled crime more explicitly. Strengthen the argument by adding one concise sentence explaining why the expansion and anonymity of cybercrime outweigh technology’s deterrent benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are thoroughly addressed with relevant support, and a clear opinion is maintained from the introduction through the conclusion.
Make the final comparative judgement even sharper by explaining why the crime-enabling effects carry greater weight than the preventive effects.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, well paragraphed, and smoothly connected, with each paragraph maintaining a clear central purpose.
Use the conclusion to synthesise the two sides more explicitly rather than mainly restating the preferred position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and natural across security, law enforcement, and cybercrime, with sophisticated terms used accurately.
Maintain this precision while avoiding slight repetition of sophisticated crimes and technological advancement in the closing paragraph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is handled accurately and flexibly, with only a rare agreement lapse that does not affect communication.
Check pronoun agreement in references such as technological progress and its impact to achieve consistently flawless control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that technological development decreases crime in society while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
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