In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
There is a large earning discrepancy among the top and bottom percentage of individuals in many nations. This is due to the fact that certain people at the top are making exorbitant salaries. Many people think that this is an unfair distribution of wages as those on the bottom are struggling to make ends meet. Therefore, they advocate that the government should set a salary ceiling. In my perspective, I don’t agree with this opinion, as a high income motivates people to work more. In the following paragraphs, I shall discuss both views and give reasons to support my opinion.
Primarily, some people believe that the government should ensure that money is spread equally across the country. It would enable governments to keep a close eye on people’s earning potential and avoid income disparities within the country. It would also narrow the difference between affluent and poor people, eventually eradicating poverty. By adhering to these rules, society will advance in a consistent manner, providing a fair opportunity for all.
Nevertheless, people work hard in order to earn high wages and afford the lifestyles they desire. This goal drives people to enhance their job quality so that they can be regarded as the top specialists in their professions. Additionally, it is only through the efforts of these individuals that the country develops into a well-developed nation. Because the money produced by those with high incomes is taxed and distributed throughout the country, individuals are highly dedicated to their work, which should be rewarded with good pay. Therefore, instead of preventing individuals from obtaining high incomes, the government should invest in education programs for the weaker class so that they may earn high salaries as well.
Overall, some people think that capping salaries is the best approach to preserve social homogeneity since it promotes equal opportunity for everybody. However, rather than stifling people’s desires to improve their standard of living, the government should implement a variety of educational initiatives.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: earning discrepancy Suggested revision: income disparity Why it matters: This is the more natural term for a difference in earnings between groups.
- 2. Clarify the groups Original: top and bottom percentage of individuals Suggested revision: highest- and lowest-earning groups Why it matters: The original phrase does not identify the income groups clearly or naturally.
- 3. Correct the preposition Original: on Suggested revision: at Why it matters: The fixed expression for people in the lowest position is “at the bottom.”
- 4. Fix the viewpoint phrase Original: In Suggested revision: From Why it matters: English uses “from my perspective” to introduce a personal view.
- 5. Choose the right adverb Original: more Suggested revision: harder Why it matters: “Harder” expresses greater effort more precisely than “more.”
- 6. Use precise wording Original: money is spread equally Suggested revision: income is distributed more equally Why it matters: This wording describes the intended economic distribution more precisely.
- 7. Match the intended meaning Original: people’s earning potential Suggested revision: people’s earnings Why it matters: “Earning potential” means possible future income, whereas the sentence concerns actual income.
- 8. Use concise phrasing Original: difference Suggested revision: gap Why it matters: “Gap” is the conventional noun for this socioeconomic difference.
- 9. Correct the collocation Original: enhance their job quality Suggested revision: improve the quality of their work Why it matters: People improve the quality of their work rather than enhance their job quality.
- 10. Use natural wording Original: top Suggested revision: leading Why it matters: “Leading specialists” is the more natural expression for highly regarded experts.
- 11. Remove repetition Original: develops into a well-developed nation Suggested revision: becomes a developed nation Why it matters: The original wording repeats the same root and sounds redundant.
- 12. Use concise causation Original: This is due to the fact that Suggested revision: This occurs because Why it matters: The replacement expresses the causal link more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- earning discrepancy income disparity
- top and bottom percentage of individuals highest- and lowest-earning groups
- on at
- In From
- more harder
- money is spread equally income is distributed more equally
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and develops both sides in a logical structure, with the case against salary caps receiving useful explanation and an alternative policy. Its main limitation is that several claims about equality, poverty eradication, taxation, and national development are broad or insufficiently substantiated. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each argument through a more precise causal explanation and a concrete, credible example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are addressed, although some supporting claims are broad and overgeneralised.
Develop the consequences of each policy with a specific example and avoid unsupported claims such as salary controls eradicating poverty.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Use more precise internal links between claims so that references such as ‘these rules’ have an unmistakable antecedent.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary is used, but several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Replace expressions such as ‘bottom percentage’ and ‘weaker class’ with natural, accurate terms such as ‘lowest earners’ and ‘lower-income groups’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence structures is handled with generally good control, and errors rarely impede meaning.
Proofread prepositions, articles, and noun phrasing, especially forms such as ‘from my perspective’ and ‘those at the bottom’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.