Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
While some people think that parents should read or tell stories to children, others think that parents need no to do that, as children can read books or watch TV or movies by themselves. These experiences give the children a good relationship with their parents, also is very important for the communication between parents and children.
In my opinion, parents should read or tell stories to children, because this little thing gives good memories of their childhood and share a good and an important time with their parents. For example, I remember my dad used to tell me stories every night before going to sleep, no matter how long or short were these stories, I always enjoyed his stories and I had a really good time with him. These days, parents work the whole day and the children spend time in school and to finish homework, so the only time they see each other is during the breakfast time and dinner time, therefore they do not have much time to share or talk. So in terms of establishing a strong bond between the children and parents, it is necessary to share the stories in person.
Children can read books or sit in front of the TV watching movies or some cartoons by themselves. Some people think that the communication between parents and kids in the future will be lost, as a consequence of that trend and because of the lack of parents’ time with the children.
My conclusion is, parents should read or tell stories to children and spend time with them. Little things can make big memories and good relationships.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct modal form Original: need no to do that Suggested revision: need not do that Why it matters: The semi-modal “need” takes “not” directly in this construction.
- 2. Use precise reference Original: this little thing Suggested revision: this simple activity Why it matters: “Activity” refers more precisely to reading or telling stories.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: gives good memories of their childhood Suggested revision: creates fond childhood memories Why it matters: English naturally uses “create memories” and “fond” for positive recollections.
- 4. Restore sentence grammar Original: share a good and an important time Suggested revision: allows them to share valuable time Why it matters: The revision supplies a verb that agrees with the subject and clarifies who shares the time.
- 5. Fix indirect word order Original: no matter how long or short were these stories Suggested revision: no matter how long or short these stories were Why it matters: An embedded clause uses statement word order rather than question word order.
- 6. Use natural phrase Original: work the whole day Suggested revision: work all day Why it matters: “Work all day” is the idiomatic expression for this duration.
- 7. Correct location phrase Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: “At school” is the standard expression for attending or being at school.
- 8. Fix parallel form Original: and to finish homework Suggested revision: and doing homework Why it matters: The phrase after “and” should use the gerund “doing” to describe how the children spend time.
- 9. Use concise time phrase Original: during the breakfast time and dinner time Suggested revision: at breakfast and dinner Why it matters: The original time expression is unnecessarily awkward.
- 10. Clarify shared time Original: much time to share or talk Suggested revision: much time to spend together or talk Why it matters: “Spend time together” expresses the intended activity more clearly.
- 11. Clarify possession Original: between the children and parents Suggested revision: between children and their parents Why it matters: The possessive determiner makes the relationship between the two groups explicit.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: share the stories in person Suggested revision: share stories in person Why it matters: The general activity does not require the definite article.
Suggested Rewrites
- need no to do that need not do that
- this little thing this simple activity
- gives good memories of their childhood creates fond childhood memories
- share a good and an important time allows them to share valuable time
- no matter how long or short were these stories no matter how long or short these stories were
- work the whole day work all day
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear opinion and supports the value of parental storytelling with a relevant personal example and discussion of family bonding. Its main limitation is that the opposing view is barely explained and even shifts back towards the writer’s preferred position, so the required discussion is uneven. The priority is to develop why some people consider independent reading and viewing sufficient, then compare that rationale with parental involvement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The writer’s position is clear and the case for parental storytelling is developed, but the alternative view receives only minimal and partly contradictory treatment.
Explain concrete reasons supporters of independent reading or viewing hold that view before evaluating why direct parental storytelling is preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, but several long run-on sentences and repetitive linking make the flow uneven.
Give each view its own focused paragraph and break the personal example and time-pressure argument into shorter, logically connected sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for familiar ideas about family relationships, but it is repetitive and includes awkward phrases such as “gives good memories” and “share the stories.”
Use more precise expressions such as creates lasting memories, strengthens parent-child bonds, and engage with stories independently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally accessible, but errors in verb forms, agreement, word order, and sentence boundaries occur frequently.
Correct forms such as “need not,” maintain subject-verb agreement, and avoid joining several independent clauses with commas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.