Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
A group of people believe that it is the responsibility of parents to read or share some stories to their children. On the contrary, another group of people disagree with it as they believe that every child could read their own books or find other kind entertainments by themselves. The following essay will discuss both views, but in my personal opinion, I do believe that children should be read or told some books by their parents.
For a number of reasons, many people think that it is mandatory for parents to tell stories or to read some books to their children. Firstly, based on some scientific research, it is found that children usually start reading from the age of five. And before they have the capability to read, it is recommended that children should be told and read some stories by their parents. Secondly, reading some books to children could increase the imaginative thinking of children. As parents read some stories to them, they will start in imaging the stories in their mind, which would positively impact on their brain's development. Lastly, by reading and telling stories to children, it could strengthen the relationship between both sides.
On the other hand, other people think that children should be taught to read books or find other kinds of entertainments by themselves. These people believe that as parents, they are busy with their business, works or household activities; therefore they would not have time for reading some books or accompanying the children. Besides that, they also believe that children should learn to be independent at the earliest age.
In conclusion, people have different views about spending time for telling or reading some stories to children. I personally believe that as a parent, people should provide time for reading some books to their children, since it brings a lot of benefits for both parents and children.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the preposition Original: to Suggested revision: with Why it matters: Share takes with before the person receiving something.
- 2. Use contrast linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: In contrast Why it matters: In contrast introduces an opposing view, whereas on the contrary normally refutes a preceding claim.
- 3. Fix subject agreement Original: disagree Suggested revision: disagrees Why it matters: The head noun group is singular and therefore requires disagrees.
- 4. Fix noun forms Original: other kind entertainments Suggested revision: other kinds of entertainment Why it matters: Kinds requires of, and entertainment is uncountable in this general sense.
- 5. Fix time preposition Original: from Suggested revision: at Why it matters: At is the standard preposition used with a specific age.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: increase the imaginative thinking of children Suggested revision: develop children's imagination Why it matters: Develop children's imagination is the natural expression for this benefit.
- 7. Use gerund form Original: start in imaging Suggested revision: start imagining Why it matters: Start can be followed directly by the gerund imagining, while imaging has a different meaning.
- 8. Match plural possession Original: mind Suggested revision: minds Why it matters: The plural subject they requires the plural possessive reference minds.
- 9. Fix verb pattern Original: positively impact on Suggested revision: have a positive impact on Why it matters: The noun phrase have an impact on is grammatical with the following object.
- 10. Name both groups Original: relationship between both sides Suggested revision: relationship between parents and children Why it matters: Naming the participants is clearer and more natural than referring to both sides.
- 11. Use correct work nouns Original: business, works or household activities Suggested revision: business commitments, jobs, or household activities Why it matters: Works is not the natural count noun for employment duties in this context.
- 12. Punctuate the linker Original: therefore they Suggested revision: therefore, they Why it matters: A sentence adverb such as therefore should be followed by a comma here.
Suggested Rewrites
- to with
- On the contrary In contrast
- disagree disagrees
- other kind entertainments other kinds of entertainment
- from at
- increase the imaginative thinking of children develop children's imagination
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its clear opinion and relevant explanation of how parental storytelling can support imagination, early learning, and family relationships. Its main limitation is uneven development: the opposing view is reduced mainly to busy parents and independence, while frequent awkward phrasing weakens precision. The highest priority is to develop the case for independent reading or viewing more fully and express both sides with more natural verb patterns and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's preference is clear, but the case for children entertaining themselves is less fully explained.
Explain how independent reading or age-appropriate media could build autonomy or literacy, then weigh that benefit against parental involvement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear paragraph sequence and generally logical progression, though enumeration and repeated references to reading stories make cohesion somewhat mechanical.
Give each body paragraph one concise topic sentence and use explanation rather than repeated sequencing markers to connect supporting points.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss imagination, independence, development, and relationships, but inaccurate collocations recur throughout.
Use natural phrases such as tell stories to children, forms of entertainment, imagine the story, and make time to read.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures are mixed, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, verb patterns, and sentence construction limit accuracy.
Check who performs each action and revise passive constructions so parents read books to children rather than children being read books.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.