In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
In many parts of the world, there has been a significant shift in population as people from rural areas move to cities. This phenomenon has led to a decline in the rural population, raising concerns about its impact on both urban and rural communities. However, I believe this is a positive development because it enhances economic growth and provides individuals with better access to essential services and opportunities.
One major advantage of rural-to-urban migration is its contribution to economic progress. Cities serve as economic hubs that provide diverse job opportunities, allowing individuals to secure better wages and improve their standard of living. This migration helps industries grow by supplying a larger workforce, boosting productivity and innovation. For instance, countries like China have experienced significant economic expansion due to rural populations moving to urban areas to work in the manufacturing and technology sectors. This transformation has not only reduced poverty but also strengthened national economies.
Another significant benefit is that urban areas offer improved access to essential services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. In rural regions, many people struggle to obtain quality medical treatment or higher education due to limited resources and facilities. By moving to cities, they can access better hospitals, universities, and public services, ultimately improving their quality of life. For example, in developing nations, rural students who migrate to cities for education often gain better career prospects, leading to upward social mobility and improved living standards for their families.
In conclusion, the migration of rural populations to cities is a positive development as it drives economic growth and enhances access to essential services. Encouraging this trend can lead to greater prosperity, both for individuals and society as a whole.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Specify population change Original: a significant shift in population Suggested revision: a significant redistribution of population Why it matters: “Redistribution” more precisely describes people moving between rural and urban areas.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: enhances Suggested revision: promotes Why it matters: “Promotes economic growth” is a more conventional academic collocation.
- 3. Refine range expression Original: provide diverse job opportunities Suggested revision: provide a diverse range of job opportunities Why it matters: The revised phrase more naturally emphasizes the variety of available jobs.
- 4. Use precise wage verb Original: secure better wages Suggested revision: earn higher wages Why it matters: People normally “earn” wages, and “higher” gives a more precise comparison.
- 5. Strengthen collocation Original: improve Suggested revision: raise Why it matters: “Raise their standard of living” is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 6. Clarify workforce effect Original: supplying a larger workforce Suggested revision: expanding the available workforce Why it matters: The replacement states the effect on labour supply more precisely.
- 7. Clarify result link Original: boosting productivity and innovation Suggested revision: thereby boosting productivity and innovation Why it matters: “Thereby” explicitly marks these outcomes as consequences of workforce expansion.
- 8. Improve clause structure Original: due to rural populations moving Suggested revision: as rural populations have moved Why it matters: A finite clause makes the causal relationship smoother and easier to follow.
- 9. Name the reference Original: This transformation Suggested revision: This urban migration Why it matters: The specific noun phrase removes ambiguity about what caused the stated effects.
- 10. Use access collocation Original: obtain Suggested revision: access Why it matters: “Access” is a more natural verb for both services named here.
- 11. Name the service Original: hospitals Suggested revision: healthcare Why it matters: Healthcare is the service people receive, whereas hospitals are the facilities providing it.
- 12. Improve parallel structure Original: both for individuals and society as a whole Suggested revision: for both individuals and society as a whole Why it matters: Placing “both” after the preposition creates cleaner parallel coordination.
Suggested Rewrites
- a significant shift in population a significant redistribution of population
- enhances promotes
- provide diverse job opportunities provide a diverse range of job opportunities
- secure better wages earn higher wages
- improve raise
- supplying a larger workforce expanding the available workforce
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear, sustained position and logically developed explanation of economic and service-related benefits, with relevant examples supporting each point. Its main limitation is that the examples and claims are somewhat general and give limited attention to how countryside depopulation itself affects the overall judgement. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen the evaluation by acknowledging that dimension and explaining why the benefits still outweigh it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly answers the question, maintains a clear positive position, and develops two relevant benefits with supporting examples.
Add a brief evaluation of the consequences of countryside depopulation to make the positive judgement more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced clearly, with focused paragraphs and cohesive devices that guide the reader without disrupting progression.
Vary the opening links between supporting points so the progression feels less formulaic while remaining explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriate for the topic, with effective control of economic and social terminology.
Replace a few broad stock phrases with more specific wording that conveys the exact mechanism or scale of each benefit.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with strong control, and errors are rare enough not to affect clarity.
Continue refining punctuation in longer sentences to keep the relationships between multiple clauses immediately clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.