These days, an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation (migration from the country to the city) and suggest some ways in which this trend could be reversed. Use your own experience
Sample Response
Rapid migration of people from rural areas to cities has created serious concerns in many countries. This essay suggests that a higher population is one of the profound impacts of this phenomenon that leads to numerous issues. It also proposes that creating facilitating, specifically entertainment and employment in rural areas, as a solution to it. Undoubtedly, a great number of city-dwellers, particularly in megacities is a major challenge for the municipalities and state authorities, which could considerably stem from the depopulation of rural areas. As a case in point, a vast number of the country residents have immigrated to Tehran in recent years. Because of this, Tehran is one of the most populous cities which leads to higher living costs, accommodation scarcity, pollution, traffic congestions, increasing crime rates and unhygienic living standard. Straightening out the problem of rural depopulation would not be practically simple. Yet, the government's investing in facilitating rural areas by recreation facilities and creating more job opportunities could be somehow effective in terms of persuading pastoral people rather than migrating to big cities. To illustrate, some way-out cities in Europe have implemented several projects concerning installing some recreation centres near the countries, which have notably attracted rural people. In this way, it has been possible to control the migration to cities. Besides, many rural people migrate to cities for better jobs, treatments or education. Establishing quality schools, healthcare centres, and creating more employment opportunities could effectively reduce the migration trend. In conclusion, over-population in cities creates numerous problems that threaten the living standard of cities. One of the prudent solutions to overcome the mass influx of rural people to cities is to create more job scopes and build civic facilities for them in rural and suburban areas.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name urban concentration Original: a higher population Suggested revision: urban overpopulation Why it matters: The impact described is excessive urban concentration rather than merely a higher population.
- 2. Use natural impact adjective Original: profound Suggested revision: major Why it matters: “Major” is the natural adjective for significant effects.
- 3. Correct noun form Original: facilitating Suggested revision: facilities Why it matters: The verb requires the plural noun “facilities” as its object.
- 4. Complete proposal structure Original: as a solution to it Suggested revision: is a solution to this problem Why it matters: The sentence needs a finite verb and a clear reference.
- 5. Fix subject agreement Original: a great number of city-dwellers, particularly in megacities is Suggested revision: a great number of city-dwellers, particularly in megacities, are Why it matters: The plural subject requires “are,” with commas around the parenthetical phrase.
- 6. Clarify causal link Original: could considerably stem from Suggested revision: could largely result from Why it matters: A challenge results from depopulation rather than stems from it in this structure.
- 7. Remove incorrect article Original: the country residents Suggested revision: country residents Why it matters: The general plural noun phrase does not need “the.”
- 8. Use internal migration verb Original: immigrated Suggested revision: migrated Why it matters: Movement within a country is migration rather than immigration.
- 9. Fix relative reference Original: one of the most populous cities which leads Suggested revision: one of the most populous cities, which leads Why it matters: The comma marks the following clause as a comment on the situation.
- 10. Use uncountable noun Original: congestions Suggested revision: congestion Why it matters: “Congestion” is uncountable in this general sense.
- 11. Use plural standards Original: standard Suggested revision: standards Why it matters: The conventional phrase uses the plural noun “standards.”
- 12. Use natural difficulty phrase Original: would not be practically simple Suggested revision: would not be easy in practice Why it matters: The revision expresses practical difficulty idiomatically.
Suggested Rewrites
- a higher population urban overpopulation
- profound major
- facilitating facilities
- as a solution to it is a solution to this problem
- a great number of city-dwellers, particularly in megacities is a great number of city-dwellers, particularly in megacities, are
- could considerably stem from could largely result from
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both required parts, using relevant urban effects and a practical range of measures to discourage migration, and its progression is generally easy to follow. Its main limitation is frequent imprecise wording and awkward grammar, which sometimes weaken otherwise sensible examples. The highest priority is to express each cause, effect, and solution in more natural, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with a clear focus, relevant effects, and several explained solutions.
Develop the rural consequences more explicitly and ensure every example clearly demonstrates how the proposed measure would reverse migration.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from urban effects to solutions, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Use reference words and transitions more precisely so that relationships between claims and examples remain consistently clear.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably broad topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace awkward combinations such as terms for rural residents, facilities, and employment with standard, context-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, although agreement, article, and sentence-structure errors recur.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, complete clause structure, and accurate singular and plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days, an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation (migration from the country to the city) and suggest some ways in which this trend could be reversed. Use your own experience
Your response
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