Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Sample Response
The way of advertisement has changed over time, nowadays sponsorship is common among the other ways. Some argued that there are many benefits to advertising, while other people think it has more drawbacks. Both views are valid, in my opinion, the advantages more than disadvantages
On the one hand, some people claimed that advertising is modern art and it a key part of modern business. The most obvious advantage is that companies can tell us about their product, without it we have fewer choices. For example, most of the people know Nick and Adidas brand through their advertising in the world cup of football. Also, advertising is a creative industry that employs many people, without it, there would be high unemployment.
On the other hand, although, there are advantages of sponsorship they are also some disadvantages. Sometimes advertisements can manipulate people, especially in cloth trends. Furthermore, as we live in consumer culture, advertisement companies persuade us to follow the latest trend and encouraged us to associate a certain brand with a higher status. Moreover, children can easily be influenced by advertisement and some of them put pressure on a parent to buy think. For instance, my smallest brother asked my father to upgrade his phone with every new series.
To sum-up, the benefit of sponsorships is a controversial topic, in my point of view the advantages of it overweight the disadvantages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present tense Original: argued Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: The present tense is needed for a current general viewpoint.
- 2. Use present tense Original: claimed Suggested revision: claim Why it matters: A general viewpoint should be expressed in the present tense.
- 3. Add missing verb Original: and it a key Suggested revision: and it is a key Why it matters: The clause requires the linking verb is.
- 4. Fix number and splice Original: product, without it Suggested revision: products; without advertising, Why it matters: The plural noun fits companies, and a semicolon correctly separates the independent clauses.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the people Suggested revision: most people Why it matters: Most people is the correct form when referring generally to people.
- 6. Correct brand reference Original: Nick and Adidas brand Suggested revision: Nike and Adidas Why it matters: Nike is misspelled, and brand is unnecessary after the two company names.
- 7. Capitalize event name Original: world cup of football Suggested revision: football World Cup Why it matters: World Cup is a proper event name and requires capitalization.
- 8. Fix comma splice Original: many people, without it Suggested revision: many people; without it Why it matters: A semicolon correctly joins these closely related independent clauses.
- 9. Remove misplaced comma Original: although, there are Suggested revision: although there are Why it matters: A comma should not separate although from its subordinate clause.
- 10. Use existential there Original: they Suggested revision: there Why it matters: There are is required to introduce the existence of disadvantages.
- 11. Use correct noun Original: cloth Suggested revision: clothing Why it matters: Clothing, rather than cloth, refers to fashions that people wear.
- 12. Add article Original: in consumer culture Suggested revision: in a consumer culture Why it matters: The singular countable noun culture requires an article here.
Suggested Rewrites
- argued argue
- claimed claim
- and it a key and it is a key
- product, without it products; without advertising,
- most of the people most people
- Nick and Adidas brand Nike and Adidas
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognizable discussion structure, presents both positive and negative ideas, and states a consistent opinion. However, it is under length and largely discusses advertising in general rather than the specific benefits and drawbacks of companies sponsoring sport, so task development is limited. The highest priority is to keep every main idea tied to sports sponsorship and support the opinion with directly relevant examples and explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides and an opinion are present, but the discussion frequently shifts from sports sponsorship to advertising generally and remains underdeveloped.
Build two sports-sponsorship-focused body paragraphs explaining benefits and drawbacks for companies, athletes, events, or audiences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and basic progression are clear, although linking is mechanical and several long comma-linked sentences weaken flow.
Use clearer sentence boundaries and make each body paragraph develop one precise view from claim to explanation and example.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range in discussing business and consumer influence, but inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations occur regularly.
Correct key choices such as 'Nike,' 'clothing trends,' 'things,' and 'outweigh,' and use 'advertising' and 'advertisement' accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of structures is attempted, but frequent article, agreement, tense, and sentence-boundary errors reduce control while meaning remains generally clear.
Prioritise complete clauses and check every sentence for a main verb, consistent tense, and correct subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.