Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There is one view that suggests that children should be taught at home for their better development, while there is another view that suggests that it is essential for them to attend school. There are benefits attached to both views. Youngsters who go to school often develop better social skills, and they get better prepared for future jobs. On the contrary, children who are taught at home receive better attention.
Children who study in school tend to develop good social skills. A child studying in school interacts with different children. The young one learns to share things and how to work together. Furthermore, apart from the classmates, the child also gets the opportunity to interact with various people, such as teachers, workers, janitors and supporting staff of the school. This means the child learns how to meet and behave with other people, too.
In addition to the above, schools also prepare youngsters for future. School’s rules and regulations, such as dress code and timings, somewhat resemble with the code of conduct of jobs. Hence, the youngsters attending the school know well about the acceptable behavior in offices. Furthermore, they also learn to how to live without parents which will help them in future when they will leave their parents’ house to live in college’ dormitories.
Those children who are taught at home benefit from getting a proper attention from the teacher. These children easily understand whatever they are taught, hence, their understanding and learning skills develop better than those who attend school.
Though there are some advantages in teaching children at home, but the advantages of sending children to school exceeds than teaching children at home. Thus, I am of the view that it is important to send the children to school because they will develop such skills which are necessary to survive in today’s world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural phrasing Original: for their better development Suggested revision: for their development Why it matters: The comparative adjective is unnecessary because no two levels of development are being compared here.
- 2. Use contrast linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: This sentence contrasts two educational methods rather than contradicting the preceding claim.
- 3. Natural collocation Original: study in school Suggested revision: attend school Why it matters: Attend school is the more natural expression for being educated at school.
- 4. Clarify reference Original: different Suggested revision: other Why it matters: Other clearly distinguishes the child from their peers, whereas different can imply dissimilarity.
- 5. Use precise noun Original: The young one Suggested revision: The child Why it matters: Young one is unnatural for referring to a schoolchild in this formal context.
- 6. Natural addition phrase Original: apart from the classmates Suggested revision: besides classmates Why it matters: Besides expresses addition more naturally and the generic plural does not need an article.
- 7. Correct staff term Original: supporting staff of the school Suggested revision: school support staff Why it matters: Support staff is the established term for employees who provide non-teaching services.
- 8. Fix awkward expression Original: how to meet and behave with other people Suggested revision: how to interact appropriately with other people Why it matters: Behave with people is not a natural collocation for describing social interaction.
- 9. Use concise transition Original: In addition to the above Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: A concise transition links this new school benefit without referring vaguely to text above.
- 10. Add definite article Original: prepare youngsters for future Suggested revision: prepare youngsters for the future Why it matters: Future requires the definite article in this expression.
- 11. Use generic plural Original: School’s Suggested revision: School Why it matters: The possessive singular is inappropriate when referring to school rules in general.
- 12. Use natural terms Original: dress code and timings Suggested revision: dress codes and schedules Why it matters: Schedules is more natural than timings for institutional working hours.
Suggested Rewrites
- for their better development for their development
- On the contrary By contrast
- study in school attend school
- different other
- The young one The child
- apart from the classmates besides classmates
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear preference and develops the benefits of school attendance through relevant explanations about social skills and preparation for adult life. Its main limitation is the very brief treatment of home education, which makes the discussion uneven, while recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop the home-schooling advantage with a specific explanation or example and then compare the two methods more directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both methods and states a clear opinion, but the advantage of home education is only briefly developed.
Extend the home-education point with a concrete example and explain why individual attention improves development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, although some linking expressions are mechanical and the discussion is unevenly weighted.
Use more natural transitions and give the home-education side a fuller paragraph to improve balance.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient and includes some relevant range, but several collocations and word forms are inaccurate.
Improve control of common academic collocations such as prepare for the future, resemble, and receive individual attention.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, despite recurring errors with articles, agreement, prepositions, and clause formation.
Proofread complex sentences for article use, subject-verb agreement, and unnecessary paired conjunctions such as though with but.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.