Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Sample Response
These days the majority of companies are approaching various strategies such as sponsoring sports events to increase their sales. Some opine that this strategy is not only promoting the games largely but also providing a platform for new players whereas others believe that companies are now selling low quality and health hazardous products by advertising these on the sports events. However, both points of view need to be addressed before formulating the opinion.
To begin with, one of the major benefits of sponsoring sports events is its significance of promoting any game and it also increases the income of companies. Due to fewer funds for particular games by the government, people are losing their interest in these games. So when companies sponsor these games largely definitely they will more likely to watch these games. Thus this will help in promoting any sport. Secondly, sponsorship for events can provide a platform for new talented players.
On the other hand, by organizing sports events the majority of companies are selling low-quality products and products which have a negative impact on health. As tobacco and liquor manufacture companies are advertising their products by organizing sports events and these products are extremely harmful to health in general. For example, Kingfisher is basically a wine supplier company but this is using the ground of sporting events in order to boost its income nevertheless wine has negative on the human body.
To sum up, Certainly, sponsoring sports events is not only promoting sports but also providing chances to new sportsmen. However, the negative outcomes of these promotions can not be denied. I personally believe that whether companies are promoting games for their own interest but these are beneficial for promoting sports at all.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate verb Original: approaching Suggested revision: adopting Why it matters: Companies adopt or use strategies rather than approach them.
- 2. Improve word choice Original: promoting the games largely Suggested revision: widely promoting sports Why it matters: This phrasing expresses broad promotion more naturally and accurately.
- 3. Fix modifier structure Original: low quality and health hazardous products Suggested revision: low-quality products that are hazardous to health Why it matters: The compound adjective needs a hyphen and the hazard phrase requires a clause.
- 4. Correct pronoun and preposition Original: advertising these on the sports events Suggested revision: advertising them at sports events Why it matters: Them refers to products, and at is the appropriate preposition for events.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: formulating the opinion Suggested revision: forming an opinion Why it matters: Forming an opinion is the conventional expression in this context.
- 6. Fix noun construction Original: its significance of promoting any game Suggested revision: its role in promoting a sport Why it matters: Role in promoting provides the required grammatical relationship.
- 7. Clarify funding phrase Original: Due to fewer funds for particular games by the government Suggested revision: Because of reduced government funding for particular sports Why it matters: The revision makes the government the clear source of the funding.
- 8. Remove unnecessary determiner Original: losing their interest Suggested revision: losing interest Why it matters: Lose interest is the standard uncountable-noun construction.
- 9. Order adjectives naturally Original: platform for new talented players Suggested revision: platform for talented new players Why it matters: The adjective order is more natural when talent precedes newness.
- 10. Clarify sponsorship link Original: by organizing sports events the majority of companies are selling Suggested revision: through sports-event sponsorship, many companies sell Why it matters: This wording states the commercial method directly and avoids an awkward participial phrase.
- 11. Remove awkward noun stack Original: a wine supplier company Suggested revision: a wine company Why it matters: Wine company conveys the intended business type without redundant nouns.
- 12. Correct company reference Original: but this is using Suggested revision: but it uses Why it matters: A company takes the pronoun it and the simple present fits a general practice.
Suggested Rewrites
- approaching adopting
- promoting the games largely widely promoting sports
- low quality and health hazardous products low-quality products that are hazardous to health
- advertising these on the sports events advertising them at sports events
- formulating the opinion forming an opinion
- its significance of promoting any game its role in promoting a sport
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's clearest strength is that it addresses both perspectives and states a consistent preference for sponsorship, using funding and harmful-product advertising as relevant angles. Development is uneven, however, because several claims are asserted vaguely and the reasoning around why sponsorship increases audiences or benefits players remains thin. The highest-priority improvement is to explain each central idea through a precise cause-and-effect chain and a fully relevant example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but several relevant ideas receive limited or imprecise development.
Develop each side with a specific causal explanation and ensure the example directly proves the point being made.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through a conventional structure, although linking is sometimes mechanical and local reasoning is not always smooth.
Use cohesive devices more selectively and make the logical relationship between consecutive sentences explicit.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and shows some range, but recurrent collocational and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Prioritize accurate natural combinations such as promote a sport, harmful products, and alcohol manufacturer over ambitious but awkward phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent errors in clause structure, agreement, and sentence completion weaken control.
Proofread complex sentences for a complete main clause, correct verb form, and clear connections between clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.