Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.
Sample Response
Few people are of opinion that it is the responsibility of the schools to hone the skills of children. I disagree with the notion that the educational institutions should be responsible for developing the children into good parents in the future. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and the requirements to be a skilled parent. It is of paramount importance that the centre of learning should give priority in teaching the academic subjects rather than the parental role.Even though the children are made aware of their future role as parents and how to play that effectively, it would in no way help in fetching a job, a successful career or attaining financial stability in life which are the most important benefits to be reaped out of education. Another reason is perhaps, it would not be an effective method since the teenagers might not have the maturity to understand the responsibilities of a parent. This is because, they have to connect the happenings in their family to the subjects taught in the school, which is again too much strain for a child. In this way, it can be argued that teaching the role of parents in schools would not be pragmatically fruitful unless it is intuitively assimilated from their parents and family members. In regard to the competence of a mother or a father, there are several things to be considered; first and foremost is the abundance of love and care, secondly strict rules to discipline their life, thirdly responsibility, fourthly doing things that the children would find inspirational and lastly to be able to educate them. What’s more is expertness in handling finance so that the children can have a better healthcare, food, education and relaxed life. To conclude, the academic subjects should be concentrated and taught in schools, as it had been until now since it is the most integral part education. This is not only because of the mindset of juveniles but also to extirpate such classes and let them learn from their own parents during the course of life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: are of opinion Suggested revision: are of the opinion Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article before 'opinion'.
- 2. Use generic plural Original: the responsibility of the schools Suggested revision: the responsibility of schools Why it matters: The general reference to schools does not require the definite article.
- 3. Choose precise wording Original: requirements to be a skilled parent Suggested revision: qualities needed to be a capable parent Why it matters: Parenting is better described through qualities than through 'requirements' or being 'skilled'.
- 4. Correct the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The phrase 'give priority' takes the preposition 'to'.
- 5. Name the subject clearly Original: rather than the parental role Suggested revision: rather than parenting skills Why it matters: A school could teach parenting skills, whereas 'the parental role' does not name a teachable subject naturally.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: how to play that effectively Suggested revision: how to perform it effectively Why it matters: A role is performed rather than played in this formal context.
- 7. Make list parallel Original: fetching a job, a successful career or attaining financial stability Suggested revision: securing a job, building a successful career or attaining financial stability Why it matters: Each item in the series should use a parallel gerund structure.
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: reaped out of education Suggested revision: gained from education Why it matters: Benefits are naturally 'gained from' education in this context.
- 9. Repair clause structure Original: Another reason is perhaps, Suggested revision: Another reason is that Why it matters: The clause needs 'that' rather than the misplaced adverb and comma.
- 10. Remove intrusive comma Original: This is because, Suggested revision: This is because Why it matters: No comma is placed between 'because' and the clause it introduces.
- 11. Use natural wording Original: the happenings in their family Suggested revision: events in their families Why it matters: 'Events' is more idiomatic here, and the plural possessive agrees with 'they'.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: too much strain for a child Suggested revision: too demanding for a child Why it matters: 'Too demanding' expresses the burden more directly and naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- are of opinion are of the opinion
- the responsibility of the schools the responsibility of schools
- requirements to be a skilled parent qualities needed to be a capable parent
- in to
- rather than the parental role rather than parenting skills
- how to play that effectively how to perform it effectively
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and addresses both the role of schools and the qualities needed for parenting, while showing ambitious vocabulary and varied sentence structures. Its main weakness is organization: the entire essay forms one dense paragraph, and the parenting-skills section becomes a list rather than a developed argument. Prioritize clear paragraphing and explain two or three key skills with concrete reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with a clear position and relevant reasons, though the parenting skills are mostly listed rather than developed.
Select two or three essential parenting skills and explain how each one benefits a child with a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognizable progression, but the lack of paragraph breaks creates a dense block and weakens structural clarity.
Separate the introduction, reasons for disagreement, parenting skills, and conclusion into clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and ambitious, but inaccurate choices such as expertness and extirpate reduce precision and naturalness.
Favor accurate, idiomatic wording over unusually formal terms whose meaning or connotation does not fit the context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used and meaning remains clear, although article, preposition, punctuation, and agreement errors recur.
Edit complex sentences for article use, preposition choice, and clause punctuation so grammatical slips occur less frequently.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.