Which of the following viewpoint do you agree with? Technology has made our life easier and we lead a better life because of the advancement of technology. On the other side, many people think that technology has made our life too complex and we were better before the latest technology has changed our lifestyle.
Sample Response
It is quite evident that invention of technology has changed our lives to great extent. While some people are of the view that modern technologies have made life much simple and easier, others believe that it has made life more complicated than before. This essay focuses on the viewpoint that how the advancement of technologies has led to a negative change in life.
In today's high-tech world, machinery and computers have replaced human beings. Almost each and every work nowadays is controlled by high technology gadgets. For example, from simple household cooking to flying planes, people make use of these advanced technologies. This definitely has changed our life a lot. Though it has made life easier and much more convenient for people, there are several other problems created due to these advancements. For example, more and more people are becoming unemployed because of computers being able to do most of their jobs. Another issue that is being most common nowadays is people are becoming more dependent and are not able to enhance their creativity and knowledge. People, instead of using their skills in improving their work, use it for making more gadgets so that to reduce their workload. This, in turn, leads to a sedentary lifestyle and further creating health problems like obesity and so on.
Furthermore, there are also social issues associated with the advancement of technologies. With the advent of emails, mobile phones etc. people fail to meet their friends which used to be the case before. Today just an email or text message does this work.
To sum up, even though modernization has made life comfortable and easier for the people, their drawbacks and complexities cannot be ignored, which according to me are far more than its benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural noun phrase Original: invention of technology Suggested revision: technological innovation Why it matters: This phrase more naturally expresses the development of technology in general.
- 2. Add the article Original: to great extent Suggested revision: to a great extent Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the indefinite article.
- 3. Use comparative form Original: simple Suggested revision: simpler Why it matters: The intensifier “much” must modify the comparative adjective “simpler.”
- 4. Use precise wording Original: beings Suggested revision: workers Why it matters: The narrower term accurately identifies the people being replaced in workplace tasks.
- 5. Uncountable noun form Original: Almost each and every work Suggested revision: Almost all work Why it matters: “Work” is uncountable here, so it does not combine with “each and every.”
- 6. Natural collocation Original: high technology gadgets Suggested revision: high-tech devices Why it matters: “High-tech devices” is the more natural formal collocation.
- 7. Correct causal phrase Original: problems created due to these advancements Suggested revision: problems caused by these advancements Why it matters: “Caused by” expresses the causal relationship directly and idiomatically.
- 8. Correct infinitive pattern Original: skills in improving Suggested revision: skills to improve Why it matters: The infinitive correctly states the purpose for which the skills are used.
- 9. Fix pronoun agreement Original: use it for making Suggested revision: use them to make Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with plural “skills,” and the infinitive gives the purpose naturally.
- 10. Fix purpose structure Original: so that to reduce Suggested revision: to reduce Why it matters: “So that” cannot be followed directly by an infinitive in this construction.
- 11. Restore parallel verb Original: creating Suggested revision: creates Why it matters: The coordinated verb must agree with “This” and remain parallel with “leads.”
- 12. Avoid vague ending Original: like obesity and so on Suggested revision: such as obesity Why it matters: The revision gives the stated example without the vague phrase “and so on.”
Suggested Rewrites
- invention of technology technological innovation
- to great extent to a great extent
- simple simpler
- beings workers
- Almost each and every work Almost all work
- high technology gadgets high-tech devices
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and supports it with several relevant consequences of technology, particularly unemployment, dependence, health, and reduced social contact. Its main limitation is that several causal claims remain general or briefly explained, while recurring grammatical and collocational problems reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer points more convincingly with specific reasoning and examples, while editing sentence structures for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear negative position is maintained and supported by several relevant consequences, though some ideas are asserted more than fully developed.
Develop fewer consequences in greater depth with specific explanation or evidence for each causal link.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from practical effects to social effects, but the body paragraphs are noticeably imbalanced and some links are mechanical.
Balance the body paragraphs and use clearer internal progression instead of repeatedly introducing points with generic connectors.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but recurring collocational inaccuracies and imprecise expressions limit control.
Replace awkward phrases such as broad technology labels and unnatural work-related expressions with precise, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, although article, agreement, and clause-form errors recur.
Edit complex sentences carefully for articles, subject-verb agreement, pronoun reference, and complete clause structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Which of the following viewpoint do you agree with? Technology has made our life easier and we lead a better life because of the advancement of technology. On the other side, many people think that technology has made our life too complex and we were better before the latest technology has changed our lifestyle.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.