Which of the following viewpoint do you agree with? Technology has made our life easier and we lead a better life because of the advancement of technology. On the other side, many people think that technology has made our life too complex and we were better before the latest technology has changed our lifestyle.
Sample Response
It is quite evident that invention of technology has changed our lives to great extent. While some people are of the view that modern technologies have made life much simple and easier, others believe that it has made life more complicated than before. This essay focuses on the viewpoint that how the advancement of technologies has led to a negative change in life.
In today's high-tech world, machinery and computers have replaced human beings. Almost each and every work nowadays is controlled by high technology gadgets. For example, from simple household cooking to flying planes, people make use of these advanced technologies. This definitely has changed our life a lot. Though it has made life easier and much more convenient for people, there are several other problems created due to these advancements. For example, more and more people are becoming unemployed because of computers being able to do most of their jobs. Another issue that is being most common nowadays is people are becoming more dependent and are not able to enhance their creativity and knowledge. People, instead of using their skills in improving their work, use it for making more gadgets so that to reduce their workload. This, in turn, leads to a sedentary lifestyle and further creating health problems like obesity and so on.
Furthermore, there are also social issues associated with the advancement of technologies. With the advent of emails, mobile phones etc. people fail to meet their friends which used to be the case before. Today just an email or text message does this work.
To sum up, even though modernization has made life comfortable and easier for the people, their drawbacks and complexities cannot be ignored, which according to me are far more than its benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: invention of technology Suggested revision: the invention of technology Why it matters: The specific historical development requires “the.”
- 2. Add article Original: to great extent Suggested revision: to a great extent Why it matters: The fixed expression includes the article “a.”
- 3. Use parallel comparatives Original: simple Suggested revision: simpler Why it matters: Both coordinated adjectives should use comparative forms.
- 4. Fix plural reference Original: Though it has made life easier Suggested revision: Although they have made life easier Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural antecedent “technologies.”
- 5. Remove extra complementizer Original: the viewpoint that how Suggested revision: the viewpoint that Why it matters: “That” and “how” cannot introduce the same complement together.
- 6. Restore category parallelism Original: from simple household cooking to flying planes Suggested revision: from cooking at home to flying planes Why it matters: The coordinated examples now use parallel gerund phrases.
- 7. Use formal change phrase Original: changed our life a lot Suggested revision: changed our lives considerably Why it matters: The revision is more formal and uses the plural for people generally.
- 8. Correct causal phrase Original: problems created due to Suggested revision: problems caused by Why it matters: Problems are “caused by” developments rather than “created due to” them.
- 9. Use direct causal clause Original: because of computers being able to do Suggested revision: because computers can do Why it matters: The finite clause expresses the cause more directly.
- 10. Correct adjective structure Original: issue that is being most common Suggested revision: issue that is becoming increasingly common Why it matters: The original misuses the passive progressive and superlative.
- 11. Add complementizer Original: is people are becoming Suggested revision: is that people are becoming Why it matters: A “that” clause is needed after the linking verb.
- 12. Clarify individual possessive Original: their creativity and knowledge Suggested revision: their own creativity and knowledge Why it matters: “Own” clarifies that each person develops personal abilities.
Suggested Rewrites
- invention of technology the invention of technology
- to great extent to a great extent
- simple simpler
- Though it has made life easier Although they have made life easier
- the viewpoint that how the viewpoint that
- from simple household cooking to flying planes from cooking at home to flying planes
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear view that technology's disadvantages outweigh its benefits and supports this with several relevant social, employment, and health effects. The strongest development is concentrated in one main paragraph, while the social argument remains brief and some language is awkward. The highest priority is to develop each major idea evenly with precise explanation and more controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by several relevant disadvantages, though some points receive limited development.
Expand the social-effects argument with a specific consequence and explanation comparable in depth to the employment and health points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear overall sequence, but the long central paragraph carries several distinct ideas and creates uneven progression.
Separate major arguments into focused paragraphs and use linking expressions to show the relationship between each cause and consequence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, although several word choices and collocations sound imprecise or unnatural.
Use more exact expressions for automation, dependence, creativity, and social interaction while avoiding vague phrases such as general references to gadgets.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex forms, but recurring errors in articles, clauses, agreement, and verb patterns reduce accuracy.
Revise sentence boundaries and dependent-clause patterns, then check articles and pronoun agreement throughout the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Which of the following viewpoint do you agree with? Technology has made our life easier and we lead a better life because of the advancement of technology. On the other side, many people think that technology has made our life too complex and we were better before the latest technology has changed our lifestyle.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.