Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Which point of view do you agree with?
Sample Response
Decent employment is a necessity to lead a standard life for everyone. In the employment market, many people keep on various rules and cultures. The concept of a modern job has been on its transformation stage. Though many people express their opinion as it is better to start the job after school education, my two cents is the better employment opportunities turn up to the university graduation holders. One obvious reason is that critical skilled jobs such as medicine and information technology call for excellent academic backgrounds. To be more precise vast scientific and technological understanding is necessary for the betterment of these atypical jobs. University educations cater to the needs of these job requirements. Needless to say, only university graduates bring in these kinds of job skills go by the theoretical and practical curriculum. Over and above, advanced educations facilitate to not only horn the pupil's skills but also enlighten them in many ways. Graduates from Harvard and Cambridge universities are the hot ticket in the contemporary job market is the best epitome. Next, most of the countries public administration departments prefer to work with university graduates than school dropouts. In other words, graduation is the basic criterion for civil service jobs of most of the nations including the third world. It is a gospel truth that, well-informed people can easily break the deadlock of many public issues than others. It definitely helps to save money and resources of countries in many ways. So, the hand full of jobs with the handsome amount of money waiting for the university graduates around the world. Indian administrative service applicants’ basic qualification is mentioned as any graduation from the university is the best example. On the other hand, an army of people argues that the early works starts get better experiences in job settings. Perhaps it may be true to some degree but, unskilled workers do not have much demand in the job market. They really need to pull their socks up to find a good employment opportunity in existing word. Put it in a nutshell, the more training we achieved the less unemployed we are. The better employment opportunities are always for the well informed and university holders. A good education assures decent jobs in private and public work settings. So, practising this rule gives several folds positive result than just early starts work concept.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: standard Suggested revision: decent Why it matters: Decent life is the more natural expression for an acceptable standard of living.
- 2. Clarify workplace behaviour Original: keep on various rules and cultures Suggested revision: follow various rules and workplace cultures Why it matters: Keep on does not express compliance with rules or customs in this context.
- 3. Fix stage phrase Original: on its transformation stage Suggested revision: in a stage of transformation Why it matters: Stage takes the preposition in and needs an article in this construction.
- 4. Correct job description Original: critical skilled jobs Suggested revision: highly skilled professions Why it matters: Critical skilled is not a natural modifier for medicine and information technology.
- 5. Clarify intended meaning Original: betterment of these atypical jobs Suggested revision: effective performance in these specialised jobs Why it matters: Betterment of jobs does not express the need to perform specialised work effectively.
- 6. Use uncountable noun Original: educations Suggested revision: education Why it matters: Education is uncountable when referring generally to university study.
- 7. Repair verb phrase Original: bring in these kinds of job skills go by Suggested revision: acquire these kinds of job skills through Why it matters: The original sequence combines incompatible verb phrases and lacks a clear preposition.
- 8. Use clear addition linker Original: Over and above Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: Moreover signals the added supporting point more directly in academic prose.
- 9. Use singular education Original: educations Suggested revision: education Why it matters: Education is uncountable in this general sense.
- 10. Fix verb and spelling Original: facilitate to not only horn Suggested revision: not only helps to hone Why it matters: The replacement corrects the verb pattern, agreement, and misspelling of hone.
- 11. Add possessive form Original: countries public administration departments Suggested revision: countries' public administration departments Why it matters: The plural possessive is required because the departments belong to the countries.
- 12. Use precise employment verb Original: prefer to work with Suggested revision: prefer to employ Why it matters: Employ directly expresses the departments' choice of workers.
Suggested Rewrites
- standard decent
- keep on various rules and cultures follow various rules and workplace cultures
- on its transformation stage in a stage of transformation
- critical skilled jobs highly skilled professions
- betterment of these atypical jobs effective performance in these specialised jobs
- educations education
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear preference for university education and supports it with examples from skilled professions and public service. Its main weakness is that several claims are overgeneralised or only loosely reasoned, while awkward idioms and frequent grammatical errors reduce clarity. The priority is to develop each argument more precisely, acknowledge the experience-based alternative more fairly, and use natural academic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported by relevant reasons, although some assertions and examples are overgeneralised or inadequately justified.
Explain why qualifications improve job prospects without claiming they guarantee success, and evaluate the value of work experience more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence with clear topic shifts, but mechanical linking and the lack of paragraphing weaken the flow.
Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs and use logical relationships between sentences instead of relying on conspicuous linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad attempt at topic vocabulary and idiomatic language, but inaccurate collocations and forced expressions frequently reduce precision.
Replace memorised idioms with natural academic combinations and check word choice in phrases about graduates, employment, qualifications, and experience.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, comparison forms, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Edit each sentence for a complete main clause and consistent subject-verb agreement before adding subordinate or comparative structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Which point of view do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.