Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
As we are progressing towards development and well-built infrastructure, many people claim that it is essential for cities to invest substantially in the creation of large outdoor public spaces. In my opinion, it is true that the authorities should invest in building huge outdoor spaces for the public, as it will promote tourism and public health. In the forthcoming paragraph, I shall explain my point of view in detail.
Primarily, as we are moving towards development, the demand for outdoor public space is also doubling. Outdoor public places are important for more than just aesthetic reasons. It provides a communal area for people to connect with nature and other people. It also allows youngsters to participate in a variety of outdoor activities, such as the famous Lodhi Garden of Delhi. This park helps appreciate the beauty of the town while also providing opportunities for people from various areas to come and spend leisure time and improve their general health.
Besides that, outdoor spaces also help to boost tourism. It attracts visitors from all over the world to view and enjoy the area’s natural beauty. New York City’s Central Park is a classic example. The city was well-known for business visits prior to its development. The construction of Central Park not only allowed locals to participate in a variety of activities but also attracted non-business visitors from all over the world.
However, some people think that spending too much money on outdoor spaces is a complete waste of money. But it is also equally true that we cannot overlook the reality of the growing demand for fresh air and greenery.
In conclusion, investing in outdoor spaces improves the look of a city and helps to promote tourism. Authorities should allocate a well-balanced budget based on the needs of the city’s growth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: progressing towards development Suggested revision: developing Why it matters: The original expression is wordy and unnatural.
- 2. Improve the collocation Original: built Suggested revision: developed Why it matters: “Well-developed” is the natural collocation for infrastructure.
- 3. Clarify the pronoun Original: it will promote tourism Suggested revision: such investment will promote tourism Why it matters: The singular pronoun does not clearly refer to the plural authorities.
- 4. Use the correct plural Original: forthcoming paragraph Suggested revision: following paragraphs Why it matters: The explanation continues across more than one body paragraph.
- 5. Avoid vague wording Original: moving towards development Suggested revision: developing Why it matters: This replacement expresses the idea directly and naturally.
- 6. Avoid an unsupported quantity Original: doubling Suggested revision: increasing Why it matters: “Doubling” asserts an exact scale that the response does not establish.
- 7. Match the plural subject Original: It provides Suggested revision: They provide Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural noun “places.”
- 8. Use smoother wording Original: nature and other people Suggested revision: nature and one another Why it matters: This avoids the awkward repetition of “people.”
- 9. Add the missing object Original: helps appreciate Suggested revision: helps visitors appreciate Why it matters: The verb “helps” needs a clear person who does the appreciating.
- 10. Use the accurate noun Original: town Suggested revision: city Why it matters: The essay identifies Delhi as a city, so “city” maintains consistent reference.
- 11. Add the possessive determiner Original: spend leisure time Suggested revision: spend their leisure time Why it matters: “Leisure time” needs a possessive determiner after “spend” here.
- 12. Use a formal transition Original: Besides that Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: This transition connects the next benefit more concisely and formally.
Suggested Rewrites
- progressing towards development developing
- built developed
- it will promote tourism such investment will promote tourism
- forthcoming paragraph following paragraphs
- moving towards development developing
- doubling increasing
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a consistent view and supports the benefits of public spaces with relevant examples, particularly regarding health and tourism. Development is sometimes general, and the extent of support for heavy investment is not examined in enough depth; the main priority is to explain the scale and trade-offs of the proposed spending while correcting recurring agreement and reference errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with two relevant, generally developed benefits.
Address the word 'heavily' more directly by explaining why substantial investment is justified despite competing needs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and a logical sequence from health benefits to tourism and a counterpoint.
Integrate the brief opposing view more fully instead of presenting it as a largely separate aside.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, though several expressions are imprecise or formulaic.
Replace awkward phrases such as 'progressing towards development' and 'helps appreciate the beauty' with more natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates clearly, but agreement and pronoun-reference errors recur.
Check plural subjects carefully so references to 'public places' and 'outdoor spaces' take plural pronouns and verbs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.