The chart below shows the average daily minimum and maximum levels of two air pollutants in four big cities in 2000.
Sample Response
Presented in the illustration is the bar chart that lowest and highest levels of two kinds of air contaminants among 4 cities, namely Los Angeles, Calcutta, Beijing, and Mexico, in 2000.
Overall, it is clear that the level of pollution in Mexico is worse and more serious than in other towns.
To illustrate, the rate of Sulphur in the air of Los Angeles ranged from merely 1 to 10, which was remarkably lower than that of the aforementioned cities. Meanwhile, Mexico had the highest level of this pollutant which varied from 80 to 200 in 2000. Although the minimum level of SO2 was 47 and 25, respectively, in Calcutta and Beijing, the maximum range went up to 130 in the latter town, which was almost double the figure of the former one.
With the second pollutant, Mexico continued to be dominant with the maximum level at 200, which was almost ten times higher than Beijing and four times higher than the data of Calcutta and Los Angeles. At the same time, the upper level of N2O was in Los Angeles higher than Calcutta and Beijing.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Spell out the number Original: 4 Suggested revision: four Why it matters: Small whole numbers are normally written as words in formal prose.
- 2. Name both measures Original: level of pollution in Mexico Suggested revision: levels of both pollutants in Mexico Why it matters: The chart presents separate minimum and maximum levels for two pollutants.
- 3. Use a measurable comparison Original: worse and more serious Suggested revision: higher Why it matters: The chart supports a comparison of pollutant levels rather than a subjective description of seriousness.
- 4. Use the chart term Original: other towns Suggested revision: the other cities Why it matters: The task consistently compares cities, so this term is more precise.
- 5. Name the pollutant precisely Original: rate of Sulphur Suggested revision: level of sulphur dioxide Why it matters: The chart measures sulphur dioxide levels, not a rate or sulphur generally.
- 6. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Use 'in' to locate the pollutant level within a city.
- 7. Clarify the comparison Original: aforementioned cities Suggested revision: other three cities Why it matters: This identifies the comparison group directly and avoids vague reference.
- 8. Use concise range wording Original: which varied from 80 to 200 Suggested revision: ranging from 80 to 200 Why it matters: The reduced form reports the minimum-to-maximum span more concisely.
- 9. Use plural agreement Original: minimum level of SO2 was 47 and 25 Suggested revision: minimum SO2 levels were 47 and 25 Why it matters: Two figures require a plural noun and plural verb.
- 10. Name the maximum Original: range Suggested revision: level Why it matters: The value 130 is a maximum level, not a range.
- 11. Keep terminology consistent Original: town Suggested revision: city Why it matters: City is the accurate and consistent term for Beijing here.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: one Suggested revision: city Why it matters: Naming the type of referent makes the Calcutta comparison clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- 4 four
- level of pollution in Mexico levels of both pollutants in Mexico
- worse and more serious higher
- other towns the other cities
- rate of Sulphur level of sulphur dioxide
- of in
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report is logically organised by pollutant and identifies Mexico as the most polluted city, with several accurate SO2 comparisons. Its main weakness is uneven data accuracy and coverage: the N2O discussion omits minimum levels and seriously overstates some comparisons. The priority is to check each calculation against the chart and present a fuller overview contrasting Mexico with the generally lower readings in the other cities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and several accurate SO2 figures are provided, but N2O coverage is incomplete and some proportional comparisons are substantially inaccurate.
Verify the N2O values and ratios, include its minimum as well as maximum levels, and broaden the overview beyond Mexico alone.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged clearly in an introduction, overview, and separate pollutant paragraphs, with generally logical progression and effective referencing.
Make the final comparison sequence more explicit so that every pronoun and comparative phrase has an unmistakable reference.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, though collocations such as rate of Sulphur and dominant are sometimes imprecise for chart description.
Use exact terms such as SO2 level, minimum reading, and maximum concentration, while avoiding evaluative wording not supported by the chart.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but missing sentence elements, awkward comparative order, and article or preposition errors remain noticeable.
Practise complete introductory clauses and standard comparative structures, especially subject plus verb plus higher or lower than.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the average daily minimum and maximum levels of two air pollutants in four big cities in 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.