The chart shows the average daily minimum and maximum levels of air pollutants in 4 cities 2000.
Sample Response
The given bar chart presents the daily minimum and maximum levels of SO2 and N2O which caused pollution in 4 different cities (Los Angeles, Calcutta, Beijing and Mexico City) in the year 2000. Overall, Mexico City was by far the most contaminated by the two mentioned pollutants among the four cities.
In Los Angeles, the quantity of SO2 emitted into the atmosphere was the lowest of all cities, with a minimum average of 2 micro-grams per m 3 and a maximum average five times as much, at 10 micro-grams. The levels of N2O emissions were much higher with the maximum daily average level reaching up to more than 100 micro-grams per m 3. Meanwhile, the atmosphere in Mexico City was severely polluted by SO2 and N2O emissions with the daily minimum and maximum averages of 80 and 113 micro-grams per m 3 respectively.
In contrast to Los Angeles and Mexico City, the amount of pollution caused by N2O in Calcutta and Beijing was less than that caused by SO2. The daily average maximum figures for SO2 emissions were 59 micro-grams per m 3 in Calcutta and 130 micro-grams per m 3 in Beijing while the average maximum figures for N2O were just over 50 micro-grams per m 3 in both cities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe chart measurement Original: N2O which caused pollution Suggested revision: N2O recorded Why it matters: The chart records pollutant levels rather than explaining what caused pollution.
- 2. Use concise reference Original: by the two mentioned pollutants Suggested revision: by both pollutants Why it matters: 'Both pollutants' is a clearer and more concise reference to SO2 and N2O.
- 3. Correct comparison form Original: much Suggested revision: high Why it matters: A measured level is compared with 'as high', not 'as much'.
- 4. Report the exact value Original: reaching up to more than 100 micro-grams per m 3 Suggested revision: reaching 104 micrograms per cubic metre Why it matters: The chart gives an exact Los Angeles maximum N2O level of 104.
- 5. Name the measured quantity Original: the amount of pollution caused by N2O Suggested revision: the levels of N2O Why it matters: The bars measure pollutant levels, so this wording is more precise.
- 6. Correct Beijing value Original: 130 micro-grams per m 3 in Beijing Suggested revision: 100 micrograms per cubic metre in Beijing Why it matters: The chart shows Beijing's maximum SO2 level at 100, not 130.
- 7. Give distinct values Original: just over 50 micro-grams per m 3 in both cities Suggested revision: 52 and 54 micrograms per cubic metre in Calcutta and Beijing, respectively Why it matters: The chart provides separate maximum N2O values for the two cities.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Meanwhile, the atmosphere in Mexico City was severely polluted by SO2 and N2O emissions with the daily minimum and maximum averages of 80 and 113 micro-grams per m 3 respectively. Suggested revision: Meanwhile, Mexico City recorded SO2 levels of 80 to 200 micrograms per cubic metre and N2O levels of 113 to 207 micrograms per cubic metre. Why it matters: The original sentence confuses the two minima with the minimum-to-maximum ranges for each pollutant.
- 9. Include minimum levels Suggested revision: Add the minimum figures for Calcutta and Beijing so this paragraph covers both ends of the ranges shown. Why it matters: The paragraph reports only maximum levels despite the chart's focus on both minimum and maximum values.
Suggested Rewrites
- N2O which caused pollution N2O recorded
- by the two mentioned pollutants by both pollutants
- much high
- reaching up to more than 100 micro-grams per m 3 reaching 104 micrograms per cubic metre
- the amount of pollution caused by N2O the levels of N2O
- 130 micro-grams per m 3 in Beijing 100 micrograms per cubic metre in Beijing
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report is easy to follow and uses comparisons effectively, especially for Los Angeles, Calcutta and Beijing. However, its treatment of Mexico City confuses the pollutant minima with minimum-and-maximum values and omits the striking maxima of 200 and 207, while several other minima are also absent. Prioritise complete, accurately paired minimum and maximum data for each pollutant before refining minor phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies Mexico City as the most polluted, but significant minima are omitted and the Mexico City figures of 80 and 113 are inaccurately presented as minimum and maximum values.
Report both pollutants' paired minima and maxima accurately, especially Mexico City's 80/200 for SO2 and 113/207 for N2O.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped by cities and contrasts, with clear paragraphing and generally effective progression.
Use a more systematic grouping pattern so that each city's minimum and maximum figures can be compared without gaps.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a suitably varied range of chart language and comparative vocabulary, with only occasional awkward or imprecise phrasing.
Prefer concise statistical wording such as ‘reached 104 micrograms per cubic metre’ instead of ‘reaching up to more than’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentence forms is handled with good control, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede meaning.
Refine comparative structures by supplying the missing verb in phrases such as ‘a maximum average five times as high’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows the average daily minimum and maximum levels of air pollutants in 4 cities 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.