The chart below shows the results of a survey that sampled a cross section of travelers at a major metropolitan airport about the purpose of their trip. The survey was carried out during four different months in 2002. Purpose of Travel
Sample Response
The table gives data on the main reasons for travel according to a survey that was conducted in a major airport in four different months in 2002. A glance at the table reveals that most of the people travelled either because of their business need or for holidays and the highest percentage of people went to visit family during December. Getting back to the details, almost two-third of the travelers took the tour in March 2002 for their business purposes while remaining one-third travelled for visiting their family, for holidays or for other reasons. A contrasting scenario could be observed during June 2002 when more than half of the travelers moved to enjoy their holidays while only 29% of them travelled for business purposes. Visiting family and other purposes contributed to the remaining 17% tours by those people. During the September 2002, holiday makers dropped to 31% while businessmen travelled more. In this month family visiting contributed to 11% tour in the airport. Finally, in December 2002, a similar percentage of people travelled to make business trips and to enjoy holidays. The highest percentages of people moved to visit family in this month and that was slightly more than one-fourth of the travelers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct location preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Surveys are conducted ‘at’ an airport rather than ‘in’ one.
- 2. Use parallel categories Original: because of their business need or for holidays Suggested revision: for business or holidays Why it matters: The revision uses the chart’s category labels in a concise parallel structure.
- 3. Formal detail transition Original: Getting back to the details Suggested revision: Turning to the details Why it matters: This is a more natural transition from the overview to specific figures.
- 4. Plural fraction form Original: third Suggested revision: thirds Why it matters: Fractions greater than one use a plural denominator.
- 5. Wrong travel expression Original: took the tour Suggested revision: travelled Why it matters: ‘Took the tour’ does not describe the survey respondents’ trips accurately.
- 6. Remove unnecessary determiner Original: their business purposes Suggested revision: business purposes Why it matters: The possessive determiner is unnecessary with this general category.
- 7. Correct remaining share Original: remaining one-third Suggested revision: the remaining 27% Why it matters: With business accounting for 73% in March, the other categories total 27%, not one-third.
- 8. Correct infinitive form Original: travelled for visiting their family Suggested revision: travelled to visit their family Why it matters: Purpose after ‘travelled’ is naturally expressed with the infinitive ‘to visit’.
- 9. Use precise travel verb Original: moved to enjoy their holidays Suggested revision: travelled for holidays Why it matters: ‘Moved’ suggests relocation rather than the purpose of a trip.
- 10. Remove month article Original: During the September 2002 Suggested revision: During September 2002 Why it matters: Month names do not take ‘the’ in this time phrase.
- 11. Use compound spelling Original: holiday makers Suggested revision: holidaymakers Why it matters: ‘Holidaymakers’ is conventionally written as one word.
- 12. State the exact rise Original: businessmen travelled more Suggested revision: business travel rose to 53% Why it matters: The chart reports trip purpose, not the travellers’ occupations, and gives a precise September share.
Suggested Rewrites
- in at
- because of their business need or for holidays for business or holidays
- Getting back to the details Turning to the details
- third thirds
- took the tour travelled
- their business purposes business purposes
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and covers the main monthly shifts, especially the contrast between business and holiday travel and December’s peak for family visits. Its main weakness is imprecise or awkward reporting, including describing March’s 73% business share as almost two-thirds. The highest-priority improvement is to use exact proportions and more natural comparative language while retaining the effective chronological structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the dominant purposes and the December family-visit peak, while most monthly comparisons are accurate despite one notable approximation error.
Report March business travel as nearly three-quarters rather than almost two-thirds and include exact figures for the principal comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The month-by-month progression is clear and linking is generally effective, but the single-block presentation limits paragraph-level organisation.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and group March with September and June with December according to their similar patterns.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough to describe trends and purposes, though awkward choices such as 'took the tour' and 'contributed to 11% tour' reduce precision.
Prefer natural survey language such as 'travelled for business,' 'accounted for 11%,' and 'holiday travel fell to 31%.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms, but errors with articles, plurals, fractions, and clause construction recur throughout.
Review noun phrases and percentage expressions, writing forms such as 'nearly three-quarters of travellers' and '11% travelled to visit family.'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the results of a survey that sampled a cross section of travelers at a major metropolitan airport about the purpose of their trip. The survey was carried out during four different months in 2002. Purpose of Travel
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.