The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013.
Sample Response
This graph compares how much Americans spent to how much income they made in 2013, by age group.
The data shows an overall rise and fall in both income and spending between young, middle-aged, and older Americans. Income rises and falls more sharply than spending.
Those under 25 and over 75 actually spent slightly more than they earned. In contrast, between the ages of 25 and 64, Americans earned 10,000 to 20,000 dollars more than they spent. This difference shrinks in the 65-74 age group, where spending was just a few thousand dollars less.
In terms of actual numbers, those under 25 or over 75 earned and spent around 30,000 and 35,000 dollars, respectively. 25-34 year-olds and 65-74 year-olds both earned in the 50,000s and spent in the 40,000s. In the middle, between ages 35 and 64, income was 70,000-80,000 dollars, and spending ranged from roughly 55 to 60 thousand.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Make comparison parallel Original: spent to how much income they made Suggested revision: spent with how much they earned Why it matters: The comparison needs the structure ‘compare X with Y’, and ‘earned’ is more natural for income.
- 2. Use range wording Original: between young, middle-aged, and older Americans Suggested revision: across young, middle-aged and older Americans Why it matters: ‘Across’ is clearer when summarising a pattern spanning several age groups.
- 3. Remove subjective emphasis Original: actually spent Suggested revision: spent Why it matters: ‘Actually’ adds conversational emphasis that is unnecessary in an objective report.
- 4. Keep past reference Original: This difference shrinks Suggested revision: This difference was smaller Why it matters: The revision describes the 2013 comparison consistently and states the relative gap directly.
- 5. State the comparator Original: where spending was just a few thousand dollars less Suggested revision: where spending was just a few thousand dollars lower than income Why it matters: Naming income makes the comparison explicit and removes ambiguity about what spending was lower than.
- 6. Hyphenate age group Original: 25-34 year-olds Suggested revision: 25–34-year-olds Why it matters: The compound age-range noun should be linked consistently with hyphens.
- 7. Name the groups Original: In the middle Suggested revision: Among the middle age groups Why it matters: The revision identifies the relevant part of the age range more precisely.
- 8. Use consistent units Original: roughly 55 to 60 thousand Suggested revision: roughly $55,000 to $60,000 Why it matters: Writing both amounts with dollar signs and full figures keeps the numerical format consistent.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: In terms of actual numbers, those under 25 or over 75 earned and spent around 30,000 and 35,000 dollars, respectively. Suggested revision: In absolute terms, both income and spending were around $30,000 for those under 25 and $35,000 for those over 75. Why it matters: The rewrite makes clear that the two approximate figures correspond to the two age groups.
Suggested Rewrites
- spent to how much income they made spent with how much they earned
- between young, middle-aged, and older Americans across young, middle-aged and older Americans
- actually spent spent
- This difference shrinks This difference was smaller
- where spending was just a few thousand dollars less where spending was just a few thousand dollars lower than income
- 25-34 year-olds 25–34-year-olds
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is exceptionally clear and well organised, with fluent comparisons and precise language across the age groups. Its decisive limitation is that the attached visual does not provide legible evidence for the detailed income and spending amounts stated, so those claims cannot be verified against the required source. The highest-priority improvement is to report only trends and figures that are visibly supported by the supplied chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response offers a clear overview and detailed age-group comparisons, but the attached visual does not substantiate its specific income and spending figures.
Use only legible values and trends from the supplied chart, avoiding precise claims that cannot be verified from it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the task introduction and overview to broad comparisons and then detailed figures.
For further refinement, make the final paragraph's grouping even more explicit by linking each numerical range to the relevant comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, concise, and precise, with natural language for describing differences, ranges, and changing patterns.
Replace slightly conversational wording such as 'how much income they made' with the more formal 'their income' for maximum precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately, and the few minor awkward choices do not impede communication.
Refine small phrasing issues, such as using 'among' rather than 'between' when referring to three broad age groups.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.