The graph below shows the average temperature in Antarctica in June 2015. Antarctica's Temperature in June 2015
Sample Response
The line graph shows data on the average daily temperature of Antarctica in June 2015. The temperature is given in centigrade by the dates of the month. As can be seen, the temperature fluctuated from minus 50 to minus 60 degree centigrade. According to the illustration, Antarctica’s temperature on the first June was as low as minus 60-degree centigrade and in a week, this temperature went up. On the seventh day of the month, the temperature reached to -54 degree. On 9th June it stood at just below -53 degree and in the next 4 days, it became -57. In the mid-June, the temperature in Antarctica was recorded around minus 58 degree. After that, the temperature slightly increased and on 21st June it rose to -50 degree approximately. From this point, the temperature kept on falling before reaching to -58 on 29th June. On the last day of the month, Antarctica’s temperature was around -57 degree centigrade which was almost the same as it was on the 3rd day of the month.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify unit and axis Original: given in centigrade by Suggested revision: shown in degrees Celsius for Why it matters: This wording correctly names the unit and its relationship to the dates.
- 2. Fix range expression Original: from minus 50 to minus 60 degree centigrade Suggested revision: between approximately minus 60 and minus 50 degrees Celsius Why it matters: Use “between…and,” order the endpoints from low to high, and pluralize the unit.
- 3. Fix date form Original: on the first June Suggested revision: on 1 June Why it matters: Use the standard date form “1 June.”
- 4. Fix temperature unit Original: minus 60-degree centigrade Suggested revision: minus 60 degrees Celsius Why it matters: A numerical temperature takes plural “degrees Celsius” in this construction.
- 5. Remove extra preposition Original: reached to Suggested revision: reached Why it matters: “Reach” takes a direct object and does not require “to.”
- 6. Fix time phrase Original: In the mid-June Suggested revision: In mid-June Why it matters: The standard time expression is “in mid-June” without an article.
- 7. Remove extra preposition Original: before reaching to Suggested revision: before reaching Why it matters: “Reaching” takes the temperature value directly without “to.”
- 8. Use concise reporting Original: shows data on Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: The reporting verb “shows” already conveys that the graph presents data.
- 9. Fix place preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Use “in” to locate the recorded temperature geographically.
- 10. Signal the overview Original: As can be seen Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: “Overall” more clearly marks the response’s general summary.
- 11. Name visual precisely Original: illustration Suggested revision: graph Why it matters: The task visual is a line graph rather than a generic illustration.
- 12. Clarify time span Original: in a week Suggested revision: over the following week Why it matters: This phrase links the rise more precisely to the preceding date.
Suggested Rewrites
- given in centigrade by shown in degrees Celsius for
- from minus 50 to minus 60 degree centigrade between approximately minus 60 and minus 50 degrees Celsius
- on the first June on 1 June
- minus 60-degree centigrade minus 60 degrees Celsius
- reached to reached
- In the mid-June In mid-June
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in tracing the month's temperature changes chronologically and identifying the approximate overall range and late-June high. Its main limitation is data precision, as several dates and values are only loosely or incorrectly matched to the graph, while the overview remains basic. Prioritise checking plotted points carefully and summarising the two rises and intervening falls more distinctly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response gives a relevant chronological account and identifies the broad range, but several readings, including those for 9 June and the final comparison with 3 June, are inaccurate.
Check each selected point against the axes and provide a sharper overview of the two main peaks and subsequent declines.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological sequence is easy to follow and linking is generally effective, but presenting the whole report as one paragraph limits clarity.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and divide the detailed chronology into early-to-mid and late-month periods.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to describe movement and approximation, though repetition and awkward collocations such as "reached to" reduce precision.
Use accurate combinations such as "reached minus 54 degrees," "rose to," "fell to," and "remained around".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response shows some sentence variety and remains clear, but recurring errors with dates, prepositions, articles, and degree forms weaken accuracy.
Edit expressions such as "on 1 June," "minus 60 degrees Celsius," and "reached minus 58 degrees" for consistent grammatical control.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the average temperature in Antarctica in June 2015. Antarctica's Temperature in June 2015
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.