The maps show art gallery in Australia in 1950 and now.
Sample Response
The two maps show the site plans and layout of an Australian art gallery in 1950 and the present day.
Overall, the gallery is organized into a central area, an east wing and a west wing, each having about the same square footage. This basic configuration has not been changed, but the courtyard on the north side of the building in 1950 was incorporated into the gallery itself, creating two new gallery spaces in the central area and east wing as well as an art school for children in the west wing.
In detail, the west wing still contains the bookshop, café and temporary exhibition space that was in the older plan. However the café is reduced in size and a toilet added. The entrance, in the center of the south side of the building, leads to the largest area, reserved for sculptures. Behind it, the area which was formerly the courtyard has a new place for exhibiting Australian aboriginal art. There were significant changes made in the east wing. The space for Australian art was transferred to the former courtyard area and in its place Asian art is displayed. The two areas for European art have not been altered.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: site plans and layout Suggested revision: layouts Why it matters: The plural noun concisely describes the two plans without repeating the same idea.
- 2. Use active perfect Original: has not been changed Suggested revision: has not changed Why it matters: The active present perfect is more natural for describing continuity between the two maps.
- 3. Add introductory comma Original: However the café Suggested revision: However, the café Why it matters: A comma is required after the introductory linking adverb.
- 4. Fix change tense Original: is reduced in size Suggested revision: has been reduced in size Why it matters: The present perfect passive correctly describes a change from 1950 to now.
- 5. Add auxiliary verb Original: and a toilet added Suggested revision: and a toilet has been added Why it matters: The passive clause needs an auxiliary verb to be grammatically complete.
- 6. Use precise noun Original: a new place for exhibiting Suggested revision: a new gallery for Why it matters: Gallery is the precise label for the new Aboriginal art space shown on the map.
- 7. Capitalize proper term Original: aboriginal Suggested revision: Aboriginal Why it matters: Aboriginal is conventionally capitalized when referring to Indigenous Australian culture.
- 8. Use direct passive Original: There were significant changes made Suggested revision: Significant changes were made Why it matters: The direct passive construction is clearer and less cumbersome.
- 9. Balance the overview Suggested revision: Also identify the entrance, sculpture area, and European art rooms as the principal features that stayed in place. Why it matters: The overview clearly summarizes expansion but could give a more balanced account of the main continuities visible in the maps.
Suggested Rewrites
- site plans and layout layouts
- has not been changed has not changed
- However the café However, the café
- is reduced in size has been reduced in size
- and a toilet added and a toilet has been added
- a new place for exhibiting a new gallery for
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-selected account of the gallery's development, with an effective overview and accurate coverage of the retained and newly introduced spaces. Its main limitation is that a few descriptions are slightly imprecise, especially the claim that each wing has about the same area. The best improvement would be to describe spatial relationships more exactly while retaining the concise comparative structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and detailed comparisons accurately cover nearly all the important changes and retained features.
Avoid the unsupported equal-area claim and describe the building's expansion into the former courtyard more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organised from the overview to a clear west-centre-east description, with smooth progression.
Make the transition from retained western features to the central and eastern changes slightly more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, including effective terms for spatial layout, transfer and incorporation.
Replace vague wording such as 'a new place' with a more exact term such as 'a new gallery area'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, and minor lapses do not impede communication.
Polish the few compressed structures by writing 'However, the café was reduced in size and a toilet was added.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The maps show art gallery in Australia in 1950 and now.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.