The table shows the cost of water in 5 cities in Australia.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the price of water, and the average household water bill, in five Australian cities.
Overall, it can be seen that Melbourne residents have the lowest water bill per household on average, while Perth households have the largest water bills. Additionally, there is little to no difference in the cost of water for residents exceeding 125 kilolitres in Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne, whereas Perth and Adelaide residents pay significantly higher rates.
The cost of water in Adelaide and Perth is $0.42 per kilolitre for use of up to 125 kilolitres. However, this cost increases to $1.00 in Adelaide and $1.50 in Perth for water use exceeding 125 kilolitres. Residents in Melbourne and Sydney, on the other hand, pay a set rate of $0.78 and $0.98 respectively per kilolitre of water, regardless of the total amount used, while those in Brisbane pay $0.81 per kilolitre and $0.84 for water use surpassing 125 kilolitres.
Regarding household water bills, Perth residents have the highest on average, at $332, while the average in Melbourne is $253. Residents in other cities pay an average of between $310 to $320 per household.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary commas Original: water, and the average household water bill, Suggested revision: water and the average household water bill Why it matters: The two objects form a simple coordinated phrase and do not need commas.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: water bill per household on average Suggested revision: average household water bill Why it matters: This standard collocation expresses the same measure more concisely.
- 3. Use value language Original: largest water bills Suggested revision: highest average water bill Why it matters: Highest is the more precise adjective for a monetary value.
- 4. Make rates plural Original: a set rate of $0.78 and $0.98 respectively Suggested revision: set rates of $0.78 and $0.98, respectively Why it matters: Two different city charges require the plural noun rates.
- 5. Clarify both thresholds Original: $0.81 per kilolitre and $0.84 for water use surpassing 125 kilolitres Suggested revision: $0.81 per kilolitre up to 125 kilolitres and $0.84 per kilolitre above that threshold Why it matters: The revision states the unit and usage band for both Brisbane charges.
- 6. Supply the missing noun Original: have the highest on average Suggested revision: pay the highest average bill Why it matters: Highest needs an explicit noun to identify the measure being compared.
- 7. Correct range structure Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: Between pairs with and when stating a range.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Additionally, there is little to no difference in the cost of water for residents exceeding 125 kilolitres in Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne, whereas Perth and Adelaide residents pay significantly higher rates. Suggested revision: Additionally, rates remain unchanged in Melbourne and Sydney and rise only slightly in Brisbane above 125 kilolitres, whereas Adelaide and Perth charge substantially more above this threshold. Why it matters: The original wording ambiguously compares cities rather than the two usage bands shown for each city.
- 9. Report intermediate bills Suggested revision: Give the three intermediate bills separately: Adelaide $312, Brisbane $310, and Sydney $319. Why it matters: The table provides exact figures, so listing them conveys more information than the broad $310–$320 range.
Suggested Rewrites
- water, and the average household water bill, water and the average household water bill
- water bill per household on average average household water bill
- largest water bills highest average water bill
- a set rate of $0.78 and $0.98 respectively set rates of $0.78 and $0.98, respectively
- $0.81 per kilolitre and $0.84 for water use surpassing 125 kilolitres $0.81 per kilolitre up to 125 kilolitres and $0.84 per kilolitre above that threshold
- have the highest on average pay the highest average bill
Why this response received Band 8.5
This is a highly accurate, well-organised account that selects the principal pricing patterns and household-bill contrasts with precise supporting figures. Its main limitation is a minor imprecision in the final range expression, while some comparisons could be stated even more explicitly. The highest-priority improvement is to present the three mid-range household bills individually or contrast them directly, maintaining the response's otherwise excellent precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview and accurately reports all major tariff patterns and bill extremes from the table.
Add the individual Brisbane, Adelaide, and Sydney bill figures to make the final comparison fully explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is grouped logically into tariff and household-bill paragraphs, with clear progression and unobtrusive linking.
Refine the final paragraph by ordering the three remaining cities or comparing them directly rather than compressing them into a range.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriate for describing rates, thresholds, and household costs.
Prefer the idiomatic form 'between $310 and $320' to preserve complete lexical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only a very minor construction error in the final sentence.
Check paired grammatical constructions such as 'between ... and ...' during the final edit.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table shows the cost of water in 5 cities in Australia.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.