The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Australia in 2010 and 2015.
Sample Response
The pie charts compare the online retail shopping trends in Australia in 2010 with those in 2015with that of 2015. Overall, electronic productsproduct, food and furniture accounted for the largest proportionscomprised the highest percentage of online sales in Australia in both years. According to the illustration, 27% of online retail sales27% online retail sale in Australia in 2010 came from electric and appliance saleswas made by electric appliances, which was followed by home furnishingsfurnishing and food and beverage salesfood & beverage commerce with exactly 22 and 21 percent, respectivelypercentage respectively. Video games purchased by Australian consumers accounted for 19% of total online salescomprised 19% of total online sales that yearin this year. Finally, gift-item and book sales accounted forgift and book sales accounted 7% and 4% of online retail sales, respectivelyonline retail sales consecutively in 2010. After half a decade, electric products’ sales increased by 5% and it comprised one-third of the total online sales in 2015. Online sales of food and beverage itemsE-commerce of food & beverage items slightly increased while a nominal decrease could be observed in the sales share of home furnishingstrade ratio of furniture. Video games became less popular among Australian online consumers as their share fell from 19% to 8%as its sale dropped below half while the share of gift-item sales rose from 7% to 11%a surge could be noticed on the gift items' sale ratio. Books as an online retail categoryproduct were accounted for a larger share in 2015 than in 2010sold more in percentage in 2015 than that of 2010.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its broad coverage of all six sectors and its generally clear account of the changes between the two years. Its main limitation is that most 2015 figures are omitted and the stated five-point rise in electronics is inaccurate; the priority is to support the overview with exact, well-chosen comparisons, especially the largest increases and decreases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and broad coverage identify the main sectors and directions of change, but most 2015 values are omitted and electronics rose by six, not five, percentage points.
Include the key 2015 figures and compare the largest rises and falls accurately rather than relying mainly on vague directional descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically from 2010 to 2015 and uses linking expressions effectively, although presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens its structure.
Separate the introduction and overview from two clearly organised detail paragraphs, while keeping comparisons between related categories together.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, but several choices are imprecise or unnatural, including "trade ratio," "sale ratio," and "consecutively."
Use precise chart language such as "share," "percentage points," and "respectively," and avoid substituting awkward synonyms for familiar category labels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful mix of simple and complex structures, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, plurals, and prepositions reduce grammatical control.
Proofread noun phrases and percentage constructions, using forms such as "27% of online retail sales" and "accounted for 7%."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Australia in 2010 and 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.