The table and pie chart give information about the population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.
Sample Response
The given pie chart illustrates the percentages of different nationalities that make up the Australian population, while the table gives information about whether they live in urban or rural areas.
In general, it is evident that the vast majority of Australia’s population is of Australian nationality. Furthermore, most people in this country, irrespective of their nationality, opt to live in cities.
The percentage of the Australian population that are of Australian nationality is 73%, whereas the figures for people of British or other nationalities are significantly lower, at 7% and 14% respectively. Meanwhile, 3% of the population come from New Zealand, while 2% are of Chinese nationality. 1% of Australia’s population comes from the Netherlands.
From the table it can be seen that 80% of Australians choose to reside in cities, along with 89% of the British and 90% of the New Zealanders. SImilarly, 99% of Chinese live in the city, as do 83% of the Dutch.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe proportions precisely Original: percentages of different nationalities Suggested revision: proportions of each nationality Why it matters: This wording describes the categorical shares more directly.
- 2. Match the table labels Original: whether they live in urban or rural areas Suggested revision: the percentages living in cities and the countryside Why it matters: The table reports percentage distributions between city and countryside locations.
- 3. Refer to people naturally Original: that are of Australian nationality Suggested revision: who are Australian Why it matters: “Who” is the natural relative pronoun when referring to people.
- 4. Clarify the categories Original: people of British or other nationalities Suggested revision: British people and people of other nationalities Why it matters: The revision distinguishes the named British category from the chart’s combined “Other” category.
- 5. Report nationality directly Original: come from New Zealand Suggested revision: are New Zealanders Why it matters: The chart classifies nationality rather than country of origin.
- 6. Use concise nationality wording Original: are of Chinese nationality Suggested revision: are Chinese Why it matters: The shorter form is accurate and more natural.
- 7. Match the Dutch category Original: comes from the Netherlands Suggested revision: is Dutch Why it matters: The chart identifies Dutch nationality rather than birthplace.
- 8. Correct capitalization Original: SImilarly Suggested revision: Similarly Why it matters: The second letter should not be capitalized.
- 9. Emphasise the comparison Suggested revision: Organise the city figures around the highest rate for Chinese residents and the lowest rate for Australians instead of presenting only a list. Why it matters: A direct highest-versus-lowest comparison would make the table’s key pattern clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- percentages of different nationalities proportions of each nationality
- whether they live in urban or rural areas the percentages living in cities and the countryside
- that are of Australian nationality who are Australian
- people of British or other nationalities British people and people of other nationalities
- come from New Zealand are New Zealanders
- are of Chinese nationality are Chinese
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear overview and reports the nationality shares and urban residence figures with excellent accuracy and concise organization. Its main limitation is that the countryside figures are only implied rather than explicitly compared, alongside very minor language slips; the best improvement would be to add one focused city-versus-countryside comparison while preserving the response's strong selection and precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies both dominant patterns and supports them with all major nationality and city figures, though countryside data are not directly reported.
Add a concise comparison showing that countryside residence ranges from only 1% for Chinese people to 20% for Australians.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced logically across a clear introduction, overview, and two focused detail paragraphs, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Strengthen the final detail paragraph by ending with a brief comparison rather than only listing the remaining city percentages.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of reporting vocabulary is used naturally, with only a minor spelling lapse in 'SImilarly.'
Maintain the same precision while proofreading capitalization and choosing consistent terms for urban and rural residence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparative structures are handled with strong control, and the few minor agreement or phrasing slips do not affect clarity.
Polish agreement in phrases such as 'the percentage ... is' and use the plural 'cities' consistently when describing urban residence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table and pie chart give information about the population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.