The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.
Sample Response
The line graph represent the number of times Australian teenagers consumed three types of fast food- pizza, fish and chips and hamburgers between 1975 to 2000, over 25 years. Overall, fish and chips was the most popular fast food among three which had dropped the popularity over the period whereas, pizza and hamburgers were being popular this time. In 1975, fish and chips was consumed in high rate about 100 times per year. In contrast, pizza and hamburger were consumed at below 10 times a year. Consumption rate of fish and chips was fluctuated for 10 years between 80 to 100 times. Then suddenly, the consumption rate was decreased rapidly to approximately 40 times over 15 years. On the other hand, consumption rate of pizza and hamburgers were increased gradually in a similar pattern during this 25 years. Hamburger was eaten higher than the pizza, 100 and 82 times respectively. Pizza consumption remained constant for the last 5 years whereas, hamburgers reached a peak at 100 times as like fish and chips was.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Subject-verb agreement Original: represent Suggested revision: represents Why it matters: The singular subject 'graph' requires the third-person singular verb form.
- 2. Use a proper dash Original: fast food- Suggested revision: fast food— Why it matters: A dash introducing the list should be an em dash rather than a hyphen attached to the preceding word.
- 3. Correct time range Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: The construction beginning with 'between' must pair the two dates with 'and'.
- 4. Correct rate phrase Original: was consumed in high rate about Suggested revision: was consumed at a high rate of Why it matters: The natural collocation is 'at a high rate of' before a numerical frequency.
- 5. Use active verb Original: was fluctuated Suggested revision: fluctuated Why it matters: 'Fluctuate' is intransitive here and should not be used in the passive voice.
- 6. Correct range pairing Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: A range introduced by 'between' takes 'and' rather than 'to'.
- 7. Use neutral transition Original: On the other hand Suggested revision: Meanwhile Why it matters: The sentence continues the description of concurrent trends, so a neutral transition is more accurate.
- 8. Use plural rates Original: consumption rate of pizza and hamburgers Suggested revision: the consumption rates of pizza and hamburgers Why it matters: Two separate food categories require the plural noun 'rates'.
- 9. Use active trend verb Original: were increased Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: The graph describes the rates rising, so the active intransitive form is required.
- 10. Avoid false similarity Original: in a similar pattern during this 25 years Suggested revision: over this 25-year period Why it matters: Both lines rose, but their rates of increase and later plateaus were different, so calling the patterns similar is misleading.
- 11. Compare frequency correctly Original: Hamburger was eaten higher than the pizza Suggested revision: Hamburgers were eaten more often than pizza Why it matters: Consumption frequency is compared with 'more often', and the food name should be plural here.
- 12. Correct pizza figure Original: 100 and 82 times respectively Suggested revision: 100 and about 85 times per year, respectively Why it matters: At the end of the graph, hamburgers were eaten about 100 times and pizza about 85 times per year.
Suggested Rewrites
- represent represents
- fast food- fast food—
- to and
- was consumed in high rate about was consumed at a high rate of
- was fluctuated fluctuated
- to and
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the three main trends and supports them with several broadly accurate figures, giving the report a clear overall direction. Its main limitation is persistent grammatical and collocational inaccuracy, which makes descriptions awkward even though the meaning remains understandable. The highest-priority improvement is to use controlled comparative sentences with accurate verb forms and prepositions while adding more precise chronological comparison.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview of all three trends and includes several accurate starting and ending figures, though some important timing and crossover comparisons are omitted.
Add precise comparisons showing when hamburgers overtook fish and chips and when pizza levelled off, while distinguishing the different growth patterns more accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a generally clear chronological progression with useful linking, but the single-paragraph presentation and some awkward connectors weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction and overview from two focused detail paragraphs, grouping the declining series apart from the two rising series.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of graph vocabulary, but recurring inaccurate collocations such as descriptions of popularity, rates, and consumption reduce precision.
Use standard combinations such as 'consumption rose', 'was consumed about 100 times', and 'became more popular' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms conveys the trends, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, passive forms, and clause construction make many sentences awkward.
Practise forming accurate active trend sentences and checking subject-verb agreement before adding more complex comparisons.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.