The maps show the changes that have taken place at an Australian Zoo between 1960 and now.
Sample Response
Your essay
The given plans illustrate the changes that Australian Zoo has experienced between 1960 and today.
Overall, it can be seen that the zoo witnessed greater developments, as some of attractions have been replaced, and new facilities have been introduced.
On the northern side the Harbour has been replaced to the northwest, instead its place a new entrance has been constructed with a ferry nearby. Another entry has been built on the southern side to provide easy access. The picnic area on the eastern side remained unchanged, however, a neighbouring cable car has been erected. The gift shop on the southern remained on its origin place, but it has been redesigned.
In 1960, there were African and Australian animals on the western side of the zoo. Today, the area of African animals is occupied by wild ones, while Australian animals still on their own place. The African creatures have been replaced to the eastern part of the main path, as a result, the birds and chimpanzees' sector have been removed. As by now the new transportation infrastructure has been built, Seal show has been replaced closer to the footpath.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Word Choice Original: Australian Zoo Suggested revision: an Australian zoo Why it matters: The prompt refers to 'an Australian Zoo' generally rather than a specific proper name.
- 2. Missing Article Original: some of attractions Suggested revision: some of the attractions Why it matters: 'Some of' requires a determiner before a plural noun.
- 3. Preposition Error Original: replaced Suggested revision: relocated Why it matters: Use 'relocated to' instead of 'replaced to' when describing an item moving position.
- 4. Cohesive Phrase Original: instead its place Suggested revision: and in its place Why it matters: The phrase requires 'in' to form 'in its place' and a conjunction to link the clauses.
- 5. Run-on Sentence Original: unchanged, however Suggested revision: unchanged; however Why it matters: Use a semicolon before 'however' when connecting two independent clauses.
- 6. Missing Noun Original: gift shop on the southern Suggested revision: gift shop on the southern side Why it matters: The adjective 'southern' needs a noun such as 'side'.
- 7. Word Choice Original: on its origin place Suggested revision: in its original location Why it matters: The standard phrase is 'in its original location'.
- 8. Missing Verb Original: still on their own place Suggested revision: are still in the same place Why it matters: A main verb ('are') and correct preposition ('in') are required.
- 9. Preposition Error Original: replaced Suggested revision: relocated Why it matters: 'Relocated to' is the correct prepositional combination for changing positions.
- 10. Subject-Verb Agreement Original: sector Suggested revision: sectors Why it matters: The plural subjects require the plural noun 'sectors'.
- 11. Awkward Linking Original: As by now Suggested revision: In addition, as Why it matters: 'As by now' is awkward for linking a descriptive sentence in Task 1.
- 12. Missing Article Original: Seal show has Suggested revision: the Seal show has Why it matters: A singular countable noun phrase requires a definite article.
Suggested Rewrites
- Australian Zoo an Australian zoo
- some of attractions some of the attractions
- replaced relocated
- instead its place and in its place
- unchanged, however unchanged; however
- gift shop on the southern gift shop on the southern side
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report effectively covers the main structural and layout changes of the zoo, providing a clear overview and a logical paragraph structure. The main limitations lie in grammatical inaccuracies and awkward prepositional or verb phrasing that occasionally affect flow. To improve, focus on mastering passive constructions, precise prepositions of location, and accurate spatial vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies key map developments and includes a clear overview, though some feature descriptions are slightly imprecise.
Ensure all features and relocations are described with exact spatial accuracy and clear comparative language.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically into paragraphs by thematic changes, with basic cohesive devices linking ideas.
Use a wider variety of transition words and phrases to connect sentences more smoothly within body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of task-relevant vocabulary is present, though word choice errors and awkward collocations occur frequently.
Practice using accurate map vocabulary such as 'relocated to', 'situated', and 'replaced by' rather than 'replaced to'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures are attempted, but recurring grammatical and prepositional errors are noticeable throughout.
Review prepositional phrases of place and ensure verbs are correctly formed in present perfect passive structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The maps show the changes that have taken place at an Australian Zoo between 1960 and now.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.