The bar chart shows the average size class in primary schools and lower secondary schools in 6 countries compared to the world average in 2006.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the average class size in primary and secondary schools in six different countries, and compares these figures with the world average.
In general, the world average number of pupils in a lower secondary school class was higher than the figure for primary schools. In addition, Asian countries (South Korea and Japan) had a higher number of students on average in classrooms compared with other countries.
In 2006, South Korea, Japan, and the UK all had larger primary school classes when compared with the world average. South Korea had the largest primary school classes, at around 34 students per class. On the other hand, Mexico, Denmark, and Iceland all had smaller than world average primary school classes, at 20, 23, and 21 students per class respectively.
With regards to lower secondary school classes, South Korea, Japan, and Mexico, all had higher than world average class sizes, with South Korea again having the largest classes, at an average of 36 students per class. The UK, Denmark, and Iceland, all had smaller than world average classes, with 18, 21, and 20 students per class respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the category precisely Original: primary and secondary schools Suggested revision: primary and lower secondary schools Why it matters: The chart specifically covers lower secondary schools rather than secondary schools generally.
- 2. Use the chart measure Original: a higher number of students on average in classrooms Suggested revision: larger average class sizes Why it matters: This concise phrase matches the measure displayed in the chart.
- 3. Fix comparison order Original: smaller than world average primary school classes Suggested revision: primary school classes smaller than the world average Why it matters: This word order makes the classes, rather than the world average, the object of "had".
- 4. Use the fixed phrase Original: regards Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: The standard expression is "with regard to".
- 5. Remove extra comma Original: and Mexico, all Suggested revision: and Mexico all Why it matters: A comma should not separate the coordinated subject from "all had".
- 6. Fix comparison structure Original: higher than world average class sizes Suggested revision: class sizes above the world average Why it matters: This structure correctly places "class sizes" after the verb "had".
- 7. Remove extra comma Original: and Iceland, all Suggested revision: and Iceland all Why it matters: A comma should not separate the coordinated subject from "all had".
- 8. Fix comparison structure Original: smaller than world average classes Suggested revision: classes below the world average Why it matters: This structure correctly places "classes" after the verb "had".
- 9. Add the key contrast Suggested revision: State that lower-secondary classes were larger in South Korea, Japan and Mexico, while primary classes were larger in the UK, Denmark and Iceland. Why it matters: This country-level contrast captures a major pattern across the two series.
Suggested Rewrites
- primary and secondary schools primary and lower secondary schools
- a higher number of students on average in classrooms larger average class sizes
- smaller than world average primary school classes primary school classes smaller than the world average
- regards regard
- and Mexico, all and Mexico all
- higher than world average class sizes class sizes above the world average
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-organised account of the chart, accurately identifying the principal cross-country patterns and supporting them with appropriate figures. Its main limitation is modest lexical repetition, alongside a few unnecessary commas in otherwise controlled complex sentences. The highest-priority improvement is to vary comparative phrasing and check punctuation around coordinated subjects, while preserving the concise overview and logical grouping by school level.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main global and regional patterns, and the details accurately compare all six countries with the world averages.
Add Japan’s and Mexico’s exact secondary figures to make the otherwise strong selection of supporting data even more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is logically organised by school level, and each paragraph develops a clear set of comparisons without unnecessary diversion.
Maintain this structure while varying transitions between above-average and below-average groups for slightly smoother cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and appropriate for chart comparison, though ‘average,’ ‘classes,’ and ‘world average’ are repeated frequently.
Introduce controlled alternatives such as ‘the global figure,’ ‘classroom size,’ and ‘the corresponding level’ where reference remains unambiguous.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures accurately, with only minor punctuation lapses that do not impede meaning.
Remove unnecessary commas between coordinated subjects and ‘all,’ particularly in the final paragraph.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the average size class in primary schools and lower secondary schools in 6 countries compared to the world average in 2006.
Your response
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