The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.
Sample Response
The bar graphs compare the proportion of moderate house prices between the USA, Japan, Spain, Germany, and the UK from 1990 to 2002. Also, the data was compared with the 1989 average home prices.
Overall, it can be seen that the highest prices of houses had in London in the second half of the period and in the first half had of Frankfurt also, while Tokyo’s housing rate decreased continuously throughout the period.
To begin with, the price of New York houses declined in the first span, and it increased in the second span compared with 1989. Whereas Tokyo had the nation whose rate of homes decreased continuously between 1990 and 2002, it had a negative percentage as compared to 1989.
Shifting towards the rest of the data, if compared to the data of 1989 of London, it was the country in which house prices rose dramatically from the first half of the period to the second half of the period. The other two nations, Spain and Germany, both two countries had a moderate level of prices of the house from 1990 to 1995, whilst Spain rose their house prices, and Frankfurt dwindled between 1996 and 2002.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the comparison Original: Also, the data was compared with Suggested revision: The changes are shown relative to Why it matters: The chart presents changes relative to the baseline rather than describing a separate passive comparison.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: the price of New York houses Suggested revision: house prices in New York Why it matters: This is the conventional phrase for describing prices in a city.
- 3. Name the first period Original: span Suggested revision: period Why it matters: 'Period' accurately labels the 1990–1995 interval shown in the chart.
- 4. Name the second period Original: span Suggested revision: period Why it matters: 'Period' is the appropriate term for the 1996–2002 interval.
- 5. Use a concise transition Original: Shifting towards Suggested revision: Turning to Why it matters: The shorter transition introduces the remaining data more naturally.
- 6. Fix comparison structure Original: if compared to the data of 1989 of London Suggested revision: compared with London's 1989 average Why it matters: The revision removes the faulty conditional structure and identifies the baseline clearly.
- 7. Identify London correctly Original: country Suggested revision: city Why it matters: London is one of the cities represented in the chart, not a country.
- 8. Quantify London's reversal Original: rose dramatically from the first half of the period to the second half of the period Suggested revision: rose from about 8% below the 1989 average in 1990–1995 to about 12% above it in 1996–2002 Why it matters: The approximate values communicate both the reversal and its scale accurately.
- 9. Use city category Original: The other two nations Suggested revision: The two remaining cities Why it matters: Madrid and Frankfurt are cities, matching the chart's categories.
- 10. Remove redundant determiner Original: both two countries had Suggested revision: both had Why it matters: 'Both' already indicates two items, so 'two countries' is redundant and inaccurate.
- 11. Describe price changes Original: a moderate level of prices of the house Suggested revision: moderate changes in house prices Why it matters: The chart shows percentage changes, and this noun phrase expresses that measure clearly.
- 12. Fix subject and city Original: Spain rose their house prices Suggested revision: house prices in Madrid rose Why it matters: Prices rose in the city of Madrid, so they should be the grammatical subject.
Suggested Rewrites
- Also, the data was compared with The changes are shown relative to
- the price of New York houses house prices in New York
- span period
- span period
- Shifting towards Turning to
- if compared to the data of 1989 of London compared with London's 1989 average
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies several important broad movements, including London’s sharp rise and Tokyo’s negative results, and its paragraphing provides a recognisable structure. Accuracy and precision are limited because cities are repeatedly treated as countries, the chart is misdescribed, almost no figures are reported, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors strain meaning. Prioritise exact percentage comparisons for both periods, expressed in clear sentences using city names and correct change language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Several main directions are identified, but the chart is inaccurately framed, data support is largely absent, and some claims overstate what two period averages show.
Report representative percentages for both periods and describe changes relative to 1989 without calling the cities countries or claiming continuous movement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the introduction, overview, and details, but awkward referencing and loosely connected clauses weaken progression within paragraphs.
Group the five cities by positive and negative change, then use direct comparisons instead of vague transitions and pronoun references.
Lexical Resource
There is some attempt at varied trend vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate collocations such as ‘rate of homes’ and ‘prices of the house’ reduce precision.
Use accurate chart language consistently, including ‘percentage change in average house prices’, ‘rose’, ‘fell’, and ‘remained below the 1989 level’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in clause structure, agreement, articles, and word order repeatedly strain readability.
Build shorter subject–verb–comparison sentences first, then check each clause for a clear subject, correct agreement, and natural word order.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.