The chart below shows information about average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with average house prices in 1989.
Sample Response
The chart provides a break down about the average variation in house prices in five various cities from 1990 to 2002 along with a comparison with house price in 1989. Overall, it is clear that the average house price increased substantially over the given period compared with the prices in 1989.
As can be seen, between 1990 and 1995, the average house prices in Tokyo and London indicated a sharp dip by approximately 7% in both cities. They were followed by New York with a 5% decline. In contrast, the average house price showed a slight increase of 2% and 2.5% in Frankfurt and Madrid respectively.
On the contrary, during the period of 1996 to 2002, London with 12% demonstrated a sharp growth in housing prices. It was followed by New York and Madrid with 5% and 4% respectively along with a small increase of around 2% in Frankfurt. Similarly, Tokyo showed a rise of about 2% but it was still 5% lower than the average house price in 1989.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe changes precisely Original: a break down about the average variation Suggested revision: a breakdown of the average changes Why it matters: The revision uses the correct noun form and accurately describes the percentage changes.
- 2. Avoid faulty combination Original: various Suggested revision: different Why it matters: “Five different cities” is the natural determiner-adjective combination here.
- 3. Use plural reference Original: with house price in 1989 Suggested revision: with average house prices in 1989 Why it matters: The comparison concerns average prices across the five cities, so the plural form is needed.
- 4. Use direct trend verb Original: indicated a sharp dip by Suggested revision: fell sharply by Why it matters: A direct verb describes the recorded percentage decline more naturally.
- 5. Correct Madrid figure Original: 2% and 2.5% in Frankfurt and Madrid respectively Suggested revision: 2% and about 1% in Frankfurt and Madrid respectively Why it matters: The first-period Madrid bar is about 1%, while Frankfurt is about 2%.
- 6. Use comparison linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The sentence contrasts the two periods rather than refuting the previous statement.
- 7. Clarify percentage change Original: London with 12% demonstrated a sharp growth in housing prices Suggested revision: house prices in London rose sharply by 12% Why it matters: The revision gives the city, trend, and amount in a clear grammatical structure.
- 8. Name both periods Original: from 1990 to 2002 Suggested revision: for the periods 1990–1995 and 1996–2002 Why it matters: The chart reports two period averages rather than one continuous figure for 1990–2002.
- 9. Make comparison direct Original: along with a comparison Suggested revision: compared Why it matters: A direct participle links the reported periods to the 1989 baseline more concisely.
- 10. Describe period average Original: between 1990 and 1995 Suggested revision: during the 1990–1995 period Why it matters: This wording better reflects that the bar represents an average for the whole period.
- 11. Distinguish the declines Original: approximately 7% in both cities Suggested revision: about 7% in Tokyo and 8% in London Why it matters: London's first-period fall is slightly larger than Tokyo's in the chart.
- 12. Use plural trend subject Original: the average house price showed a slight increase Suggested revision: average house prices rose slightly Why it matters: The plural subject and direct trend verb fit the two cities being described.
Suggested Rewrites
- a break down about the average variation a breakdown of the average changes
- various different
- with house price in 1989 with average house prices in 1989
- indicated a sharp dip by fell sharply by
- 2% and 2.5% in Frankfurt and Madrid respectively 2% and about 1% in Frankfurt and Madrid respectively
- On the contrary By contrast
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report is clearly organised by period and supports its comparisons with figures, accurately covering most of the major changes. Its main weakness is an overgeneralised overview, alongside a few inaccurate or confusing details about Madrid and Tokyo. Refine the overview to contrast the predominantly negative first period with the mostly positive second period and state Tokyo's remaining decline unambiguously.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most key figures and comparisons are accurately selected, but the overview overstates the general increase and a few city details are inaccurate or ambiguous.
Summarise the shift from mainly falling prices in 1990-1995 to mainly rising prices in 1996-2002, while identifying London and Tokyo as the clearest extremes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped by the two periods, and progression is clear despite a few imprecise linking choices.
Choose connectors that express the exact relationship, particularly avoiding contrast or similarity markers when the figures do not support them.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of trend and comparison vocabulary, though several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Prefer natural combinations such as showed a fall, rose by, and percentage change, and avoid assigning human-like actions to prices or cities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of simple and complex structures is generally well controlled, with occasional agreement, article, and sentence-construction lapses that do not impede understanding.
Polish noun phrases and comparative sentences, especially where a city, percentage, and movement are combined in one clause.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with average house prices in 1989.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.