The pie chart below shows the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.
Sample Response
1992 and 2012. The data has been calculated in numbers. To initiate with, the lion’s share of other books were sold in 1972. Whereas, one-fifth(20%) percentage of books word sold form adult, children and biography categories. But, only a tiny fraction of travel books were sold in 1972. Moreover, In 1992, the majority of sales were from adult fiction novels. Additionally, around 20% of Children’s frictions and other books were sold by the bookseller. But the tiny ratio of people liked to purchased travel and biography books 18% and 15% respectively.
On the other hand, In 2012, most people(45%) were inclined to purchase adult fiction. Furthermore,25% of sales came from children’s novels. However, approximately 10% of book sales are from travel and other categories. Thus, an ant share of biography books was sold by a bookseller in 2012.
In conclusion, It is crystal clear from the entire intimation that most people like to purchase adult fiction, but only a few people are interested in buying travel books throughout the time period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural opener Original: initiate Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: This is the natural phrase for introducing the first set of figures.
- 2. Fix clause structure Original: lion’s share of other books were sold Suggested revision: largest share was for other books Why it matters: The replacement gives the singular subject 'share' the correct verb and expresses the category clearly.
- 3. Lowercase after comma Original: In Suggested revision: in Why it matters: A word following a mid-sentence comma should not be capitalized here.
- 4. Avoid majority claim Original: majority of sales Suggested revision: largest share of sales Why it matters: Adult fiction was the largest 1992 category at 25%, but it did not exceed half of sales.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: adult fiction novels Suggested revision: adult fiction Why it matters: The chart's category is already fully identified by 'adult fiction'.
- 6. Correct category name Original: Children’s frictions Suggested revision: children’s fiction Why it matters: The chart category is 'children’s fiction', and 'frictions' is a spelling error here.
- 7. Fix capitalization Original: In Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The preposition after the comma should begin with a lowercase letter.
- 8. Keep past tense Original: are Suggested revision: were Why it matters: The report describes completed data from 2012, so the past tense is required.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: an ant share Suggested revision: a small share Why it matters: 'Ant share' is not an appropriate expression for a small proportion.
- 10. Fix capitalization Original: It Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The pronoun follows a comma within the sentence and should be lowercase.
- 11. Use chart language Original: crystal clear from the entire intimation Suggested revision: clear from the charts Why it matters: The replacement is concise and appropriate for describing visual data.
- 12. Describe sales accurately Original: most people like to purchase adult fiction Suggested revision: adult fiction had the largest share of sales Why it matters: The chart presents proportions of books sold rather than people's stated preferences.
Suggested Rewrites
- initiate begin
- lion’s share of other books were sold largest share was for other books
- In in
- majority of sales largest share of sales
- adult fiction novels adult fiction
- Children’s frictions children’s fiction
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response covers all three years and reports several figures accurately, with chronological organization that makes the broad pattern understandable. Its main limitation is an imprecise overview, especially the claim that adult fiction dominated and travel was least popular throughout, while frequent awkward or erroneous phrasing sometimes strains clarity. Prioritize a fully accurate trend-based overview and then edit sentence structure, agreement, and word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses all three charts and includes many correct values, but the overview misrepresents the categories that dominated or were smallest across the period.
Summarize the main changes accurately, highlighting the sharp rise in adult fiction and the declines in biography, travel, and other books.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological sequence is easy to follow, but fragments and repetitive linking words make the progression mechanical and occasionally abrupt.
Use complete sentences and group the details into a clear 1972-to-2012 comparison rather than introducing nearly every point with a connector.
Lexical Resource
Some topic vocabulary is attempted, but frequent spelling and word-choice errors such as “frictions,” “intimation,” and “ant share” reduce precision.
Use straightforward chart language such as proportion, accounted for, rose, and declined, checking spelling and collocation carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, tense, and verb patterns sometimes make relationships difficult to understand.
Prioritize complete subject-verb sentences and accurate comparative structures, then proofread every verb form and noun phrase.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.