The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the way in which bricks are made for the building industry. Overall, there are seven stages in this linear process, beginning with the digging up of clay and ending with the delivery of the completed bricks.
Initially, the clay used to make the bricks is dug up from the ground by a large digger. This clay is then placed onto a metal grid, which is used to break up the clay into smaller pieces. A roller assists in this process.
Following this, sand and water are added to the clay, and this mixture is turned into bricks by either placing it into a mould or using a wire cutter.
The next two stages involve an oven and kilns (a type of oven). The bricks are placed in an oven to dry for 24 – 48 hours. In the subsequent stage, the bricks go through a heating and cooling process. They are heated in a kiln at a moderate and then a high temperature (ranging from 200c to 1300c), followed by a cooling process in a chamber for 2 – 3 days. Both these stages take a long period of time. Finally, the bricks are packed and delivered to their destinations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify grid action Original: placed onto a metal grid Suggested revision: passed through a metal grid Why it matters: The diagram shows the clay being forced through the grid rather than simply placed on it.
- 2. Use plural moulds Original: placing it into a mould Suggested revision: placing it into moulds Why it matters: The diagram depicts multiple moulds used to shape the clay mixture.
- 3. Name equipment precisely Original: an oven and kilns (a type of oven) Suggested revision: a drying oven, two kilns and a cooling chamber Why it matters: The visual distinguishes four pieces of equipment used across the drying, heating and cooling stages.
- 4. Specify drying oven Original: placed in an oven Suggested revision: placed in a drying oven Why it matters: The image labels this equipment specifically as a drying oven.
- 5. Use plural temperatures Original: at a moderate and then a high temperature Suggested revision: at moderate and then high temperatures Why it matters: The plural form matches the two distinct temperature ranges described.
- 6. Correct temperature ranges Original: (ranging from 200c to 1300c) Suggested revision: (200°C–980°C and then 870°C–1300°C) Why it matters: The diagram gives separate ranges for the moderate- and high-temperature kilns.
- 7. Use precise durations Original: take a long period of time Suggested revision: last 24–48 and 48–72 hours, respectively Why it matters: The exact drying and cooling durations communicate the visual information more effectively than this vague phrase.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: A roller assists in this process. Suggested revision: A roller beneath the grid helps crush the clay into smaller pieces. Why it matters: The rewrite states the roller's specific position and function shown in the diagram.
- 9. Strengthen process overview Suggested revision: Add that the clay is shaped, dried, fired at increasing temperatures and cooled before packaging and delivery. Why it matters: The overview identifies the endpoints but could also summarise the process's main transformation stages.
Suggested Rewrites
- placed onto a metal grid passed through a metal grid
- placing it into a mould placing it into moulds
- an oven and kilns (a type of oven) a drying oven, two kilns and a cooling chamber
- placed in an oven placed in a drying oven
- at a moderate and then a high temperature at moderate and then high temperatures
- (ranging from 200c to 1300c) (200°C–980°C and then 870°C–1300°C)
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-organised account of the entire brick-making sequence, with an effective overview and mostly accurate sequencing, timings, and temperatures. Its main limitation is that the kiln ranges are compressed into one broad 200–1300°C span, losing the distinction between the moderate and high phases. Prioritise reporting each labelled temperature range precisely while retaining the concise stage-by-stage structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and stage sequence are complete and accurate apart from simplifying the two distinct kiln temperature ranges into one broad span.
State the moderate range of 200–980°C and the high range of 870–1300°C separately for full precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from clay extraction to delivery, with clear paragraphing and well-controlled sequencing.
Integrate the drying and kiln stages into an even tighter chronological paragraph while preserving their distinct functions.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise process vocabulary, including metal grid, mould, wire cutter, kiln, and cooling chamber, supports an exact description.
Replace the vague phrase long period of time with a more precise comparison based on the labelled durations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex and simple structures is used accurately, with only very minor awkwardness.
Refine reference and agency in phrases such as placing it into a mould so every process relationship is completely explicit.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.