The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the trend of total visitors that went to four distinct places in Bridgton, England between 1980 to 2010.
To outline, art galleries and festivals saw a downward trend, whereas Pavilion and pier experienced an upward trajectory.
Regarding Pavilion, in 1980 the total tourist attraction was over 20% which then rose dramatically to a peak of around 50% in 1995. However, from 1995 the trend experienced a sharp fall to around 35% in 2000 and then gradually declined to 30%. The figure of Pier showed some fluctuations throughout the years. But the general trend was upward, and it ended in 2010 at around 28%.
The percentage of festivals slightly plunged from 30% to around 25% in 2000 and showed a marginal growth to around 29%. From 2000 onwards, the number of travellers to festivals levelled off. Art gallery in 1980 was around 31%, which saw a considerable growth to around 38%, however, declined after gradual fluctuations to around 9%, being the least preferred tourist site in 2010.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Report percentages Original: trend of total visitors Suggested revision: percentages of tourists Why it matters: The graph shows percentages rather than a total number of visitors.
- 2. Use precise verb Original: went to four distinct places Suggested revision: visited four different attractions Why it matters: This wording describes the measured activity more precisely.
- 3. Correct place name Original: Bridgton Suggested revision: Brighton Why it matters: The place name is misspelled.
- 4. Fix time range Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: The standard construction is between one year and another.
- 5. Introduce overview Original: To outline Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall is the appropriate linker for the summary of main trends.
- 6. Match chart labels Original: art galleries and festivals Suggested revision: the art gallery and festival Why it matters: The response should refer consistently to the singular attraction categories shown.
- 7. Add definite article Original: Pavilion and pier Suggested revision: the Pavilion and pier Why it matters: These named chart categories require a definite article in this comparison.
- 8. Name the measure Original: total tourist attraction Suggested revision: percentage of tourists visiting it Why it matters: The original phrase does not identify the percentage measured by the graph.
- 9. Describe figure directly Original: from 1995 the trend experienced a sharp fall Suggested revision: after 1995 the figure fell sharply Why it matters: A trend cannot itself experience a fall, so the figure should be the subject.
- 10. Fix graph phrasing Original: The figure of Pier Suggested revision: The figure for the pier Why it matters: Figure for is the natural expression for a chart category.
- 11. Specify the period Original: throughout the years Suggested revision: over the period Why it matters: This concise phrase refers clearly to the full chart timespan.
- 12. Correct pier figure Original: 28 Suggested revision: 22 Why it matters: The pier ends at approximately 22% in 2010, not 28%.
Suggested Rewrites
- trend of total visitors percentages of tourists
- went to four distinct places visited four different attractions
- Bridgton Brighton
- to and
- To outline Overall
- art galleries and festivals the art gallery and festival
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear overview and follows the main directions of all four series, with the Pavilion trend described particularly well. Its main limitation is data accuracy: the opening Art Gallery figure, the Pier endpoint, and the timing and extent of Festival changes are misstated. Prioritise checking every reported value and year against the graph, then add direct comparisons between the attractions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and most major trends are included, but several figures and time references do not match the graph.
Check each value and year carefully, especially for Art Gallery, Pier, and Festival, and make more direct comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overview to grouped details, although some linking is abrupt or mechanical.
Use smoother sentence connections and organise each detail paragraph around clearly compared series.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range for describing trends, but several collocations such as total tourist attraction and the figure of Pier are imprecise.
Prefer precise chart language such as proportion of visitors, rose, fell, peaked, and remained stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the meaning, despite recurring article, preposition, and sentence-boundary errors.
Review article use, time expressions, and punctuation when joining clauses to improve grammatical control.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.