The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Café, by season.
Sample Response
The bar graph shows how many servings of certain food items are sold on average every day in two different seasons at the Brisk Café. The average number of sales of each item changed with the season.
Certain food items had much higher sales than others in the winter. Hot coffee had the highest number of sales, with an average of 75 servings sold daily. Following this, the item with the second highest number of sales was soup, with an average of 50 servings sold daily. Salad and ice cream had average daily sales of 25 servings each, and iced coffee had the lowest number of sales, with close to zero servings sold daily.
The sales numbers for each food item were different in the summer from what they were in the winter. Iced coffee sales rose significantly, to an average of 40 servings sold daily. The item that had the second highest number of sales was ice cream, with an average of 35 servings sold daily. Hot coffee sales fell to just 30 servings daily. Soup and salad had the lowest number of sales, with 25 servings sold daily on average.
In general, the average daily sales of each food item changed when the season changed. Certain items were more popular in the winter, but certain others were more popular in the summer.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a direct link Original: Following this Suggested revision: Next Why it matters: Next signals the ranking more directly and concisely.
- 2. Tighten the ranking Original: the item with the second highest number of sales was soup Suggested revision: the next-best-selling item was soup Why it matters: The replacement expresses the sales ranking more naturally and compactly.
- 3. Give the plotted value Original: close to zero servings Suggested revision: about two servings Why it matters: The winter bar is slightly above zero and represents approximately two servings.
- 4. Use chart vocabulary Original: numbers Suggested revision: figures Why it matters: Sales figures is the standard collocation for numerical chart data.
- 5. Remove the comma Original: rose significantly, to Suggested revision: rose significantly to Why it matters: No comma should separate the verb phrase from its resulting value.
- 6. Condense the phrase Original: The item that had the second highest number of sales Suggested revision: The second-best-selling item Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same ranking without unnecessary wording.
- 7. Use concise comparison Original: when the season changed Suggested revision: between seasons Why it matters: Between seasons states the comparison more concisely.
- 8. Remove vague wording Original: certain others Suggested revision: others Why it matters: Others is sufficient because the previously mentioned items already define the reference set.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: The average number of sales of each item changed with the season. Suggested revision: Average sales varied by season for every item except salad. Why it matters: The chart shows that salad remained at 25 servings in both seasons.
- 10. Specify the main contrast Suggested revision: State that hot coffee and soup were stronger in winter, whereas iced coffee and ice cream were stronger in summer. Why it matters: Naming the opposing seasonal patterns would make the overview more informative.
Suggested Rewrites
- Following this Next
- the item with the second highest number of sales was soup the next-best-selling item was soup
- close to zero servings about two servings
- numbers figures
- rose significantly, to rose significantly to
- The item that had the second highest number of sales The second-best-selling item
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response accurately reports virtually all values and organizes the winter and summer figures into clear, easy-to-follow sections, with consistently controlled language. The chief limitation is that the overview remains generic, saying only that popularity changed rather than identifying the main seasonal contrasts. Strengthen it by naming the clearest switches: hot coffee and soup lead in winter, whereas iced coffee and ice cream become much more popular in summer.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All five items are covered with accurate seasonal figures and relevant comparisons, but the overview does not specify the most important changes between winter and summer.
State in the overview which hot items dominate winter sales and which cold items gain most in summer.
Coherence and Cohesion
The seasonal paragraphing creates clear progression, and comparisons within each paragraph are easy to follow despite some repetitive sequencing.
Use a more selective progression that groups the largest seasonal rises and falls instead of repeatedly ranking every item.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for quantitative comparison, though phrases such as "number of sales" and "certain food items" recur frequently.
Vary repeated wording with precise alternatives such as "servings sold", "daily demand", and the specific item names.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex sentences is used accurately, with consistently clear punctuation and agreement.
Refine occasional wordy comparative clauses so the already accurate sentences become more concise.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Café, by season.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.