The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
Sample Response
The bar graph depicts the rate of British citizens that funded a charity organisation based on age group between 1990 and 2010. Overall, it is apparent that a more significant percentage gave money to charity with the age group of 36-50 years in 1990 and 51- 65 years in 2010. The lowest proportion of British donated to charity with 18 -25 years members in both years.
In a more detailed analysis, in 1990, over 40% of inhabitants gave money to the organisation that consisted of people between the age of 36 – 50 years, which is about 5% greater than the percentage of people who financed age range 51 – 65 years and about 10% more than those that donated to age 26 – 35 years and 65 years and above. Moreover, the donation proportion to charity with 18 -25 years members was almost half of that of the 36 – 50 years group.
Turning to the 2010 rate, the age group 51-65 organisation received funds from about 40% of the British population, although this was insignificantly higher than that of the age bracket 36 -50 years and 65years and above, which were both 35%. About 5 in 100 people financially supported the age 18 -25 group, which is around one-fifth of the percentage of citizens that supported charity of 26 -35years people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart terminology Original: rate of British citizens Suggested revision: percentage of British people Why it matters: A bar chart reports percentages, so this wording describes the measure more precisely.
- 2. Use accurate verb Original: funded a charity organisation Suggested revision: donated money to charity Why it matters: The chart concerns people giving money to charity rather than funding a particular organisation.
- 3. Use concise grouping Original: based on age group Suggested revision: by age group Why it matters: This is the standard concise expression for how the data are classified.
- 4. Use concise transition Original: In a more detailed analysis Suggested revision: In more detail Why it matters: The shorter transition introduces the detailed figures more naturally.
- 5. Correct donor meaning Original: inhabitants gave money to the organisation that consisted of people between the age of 36 – 50 years Suggested revision: people aged 36–50 donated to charity Why it matters: The age categories identify the donors, not the membership of a charity organisation.
- 6. Correct comparison meaning Original: percentage of people who financed age range 51 – 65 years Suggested revision: donation rate among 51–65-year-olds Why it matters: The visual compares donation rates of age groups rather than people financing an age range.
- 7. Identify donor groups Original: those that donated to age 26 – 35 years and 65 years and above Suggested revision: the rates among 26–35-year-olds and those aged 65+ Why it matters: These labels refer to donors' ages, so the comparison should name their rates.
- 8. Repair noun phrase Original: the donation proportion to charity with 18 -25 years members Suggested revision: the proportion of 18–25-year-olds donating to charity Why it matters: This structure clearly identifies the age group as the people making donations.
- 9. Make comparison precise Original: was almost half of Suggested revision: was less than half of Why it matters: The chart shows roughly 17% versus 42%, which is clearly below one-half.
- 10. Use age-group form Original: that of the 36 – 50 years group Suggested revision: the rate for the 36–50 age group Why it matters: This wording makes the basis of the comparison explicit and grammatical.
- 11. Refer to multiple figures Original: rate Suggested revision: figures Why it matters: The paragraph discusses several age-group values rather than one rate.
- 12. Remove invented organisation Original: the age group 51-65 organisation Suggested revision: the 51–65 age group Why it matters: The chart presents an age group of donors, not an age-specific organisation.
Suggested Rewrites
- rate of British citizens percentage of British people
- funded a charity organisation donated money to charity
- based on age group by age group
- In a more detailed analysis In more detail
- inhabitants gave money to the organisation that consisted of people between the age of 36 – 50 years people aged 36–50 donated to charity
- percentage of people who financed age range 51 – 65 years donation rate among 51–65-year-olds
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview and organizes the two years logically, with most headline values and comparisons matching the chart. Its main weakness is the repeated misinterpretation of the age groups as charity organisations or recipients rather than groups of donors, alongside awkward phrasing that reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to describe exactly what each percentage represents before reporting and comparing the figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main peaks and lowest group are identified accurately, but the response repeatedly misrepresents donor age groups as charity organisations or recipient groups.
State that each figure is the percentage of people within an age group who donated, then compare the groups on that basis.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear overview and year-by-year paragraph structure create logical progression, despite some cumbersome referencing within long sentences.
Use shorter comparison sentences with unambiguous references to each age group and year.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range for describing proportions and comparisons, but frequent inaccurate collocations make the data relationships imprecise.
Prefer precise phrases such as 'the proportion of donors aged 36–50' and avoid expressions such as 'financed age range.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, though recurring errors in articles, prepositions, noun phrases, and agreement reduce control.
Edit complex comparison sentences for complete noun phrases, accurate prepositions, and consistent singular-plural agreement.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.