The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. BRITSH EMIGRATION TO SELECTED DESTINATIONS: 2004-2007
Sample Response
The column graph compares the number of emigrated British to five different countries within a span of four years’ time commencing from 2004. The data was taken from International Passenger Survey and it clearly outlines that Australia was their favourite country for settlement in the given period. Getting back to details, just over 40 thousand British arrived in Australia in 2004 which was the highest number of British citizens immigrated to any country. In this year nearly 25 thousand British went to New Zealand, USA and France while 35 thousand went to Spain, making it the second favoured destination for UK residences. In the consecutive years, Australia remained their hot destination and more than 50 thousand British went to this country in 2006 alone. Interestingly, the number of British migrated to Spain slowly decreased in the final two years and this trend was also true in the case of British people’s migration to New Zealand and USA. Around 20 thousand British shifted to the USA and New Zealand in 2007 while this figure was slightly more in Spain. Total migrated British in Australia in 2007, on the other hand, was somewhat 43 thousand.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the correct noun phrase Original: number of emigrated British Suggested revision: number of British emigrants Why it matters: 'Emigrated' cannot function as an adjective before 'British' in this phrase.
- 2. State the period concisely Original: within a span of four years’ time commencing from 2004 Suggested revision: over the four-year period from 2004 to 2007 Why it matters: The revision gives the complete period clearly and removes unnecessary wording.
- 3. Add the definite article Original: from International Passenger Survey Suggested revision: from the International Passenger Survey Why it matters: The named survey requires the definite article in this construction.
- 4. Use a reporting verb Original: outlines Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: Data 'show' a pattern; 'outline' is less natural for this numerical comparison.
- 5. Use a precise chart term Original: their favourite country for settlement Suggested revision: the most popular destination Why it matters: The replacement removes the vague pronoun and describes the ranked destination directly.
- 6. Use a formal transition Original: Getting back to details Suggested revision: In detail Why it matters: The original conversational phrase is unsuitable for a concise statistical report.
- 7. Describe emigration accurately Original: British arrived in Australia Suggested revision: Britons emigrated to Australia Why it matters: The chart records emigration destinations, so 'emigrated to' is the precise wording.
- 8. Fix the reduced clause Original: British citizens immigrated to any country Suggested revision: British citizens emigrating to any destination Why it matters: The noun phrase requires a participle, and 'emigrating' matches movement away from Britain.
- 9. Use a natural reference Original: In this year Suggested revision: That year Why it matters: 'That year' refers back to 2004 more smoothly and concisely.
- 10. Add the country article Original: New Zealand, USA and France Suggested revision: New Zealand, the USA and France Why it matters: The abbreviation 'USA' normally takes the definite article.
- 11. Correct the word choice Original: UK residences Suggested revision: British emigrants Why it matters: 'Residences' means homes, whereas the sentence refers to people emigrating from Britain.
- 12. Use the correct sequence phrase Original: In the consecutive years Suggested revision: In subsequent years Why it matters: 'Subsequent years' is the natural phrase for the years following 2004.
Suggested Rewrites
- number of emigrated British number of British emigrants
- within a span of four years’ time commencing from 2004 over the four-year period from 2004 to 2007
- from International Passenger Survey from the International Passenger Survey
- outlines shows
- their favourite country for settlement the most popular destination
- Getting back to details In detail
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear identification of Australia as the leading destination, supported by several broadly accurate figures and comparisons. Its main limitation is incomplete and occasionally inaccurate trend coverage, especially the omission of France’s marked rise and fall and the claim that US emigration followed a steady decline. Prioritise selecting all major patterns for the overview and checking each stated trend against the four yearly bars.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a valid overview and relevant figures, but omits France’s major fluctuation and mischaracterises the US trend.
Include France’s 2005 peak and subsequent fall, and verify whether each destination rises, falls, or fluctuates.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a generally logical sequence and uses linking to connect comparisons, though some transitions are awkward or imprecise.
Organise the details into clear trend groups and use contrast markers only where the relationship genuinely contrasts.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate for reporting figures and trends, but several word choices and collocations are unnatural or inaccurate.
Use natural forms such as ‘British emigrants’, ‘emigrated to’, ‘residents’, and ‘approximately 43,000’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures show some variety, but recurring errors in participle clauses and noun phrases weaken grammatical control.
Review constructions after ‘the number of’ and use relative clauses or past-tense verbs accurately when describing migration.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. BRITSH EMIGRATION TO SELECTED DESTINATIONS: 2004-2007
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.