The graph below shows the popularity of different fast foods in Britain and the trends in their consumption.
Sample Response
The graph shows the changes in the demand for hamburgers, fish & chips and pizza from 1970 to 1990.
It is immediately apparent that in 1970 the most popular food was pizza. The demand for pizza started from 300 grams followed by a spectacular fall of 200 grams in 1985.
The striking feature of the graph is the demand for fish & chips. In 1970, fish & chips were the second favourite food among people, and from 1980 on the total demand surged to a high of 500 grams from 99 in 1970.
Furthermore, hamburgers were the least popular food in 1970 with the total demand of 15 grams, which increased gradually till 1985. The total demand for hamburgers skyrocketed to 299 grams in 1990.
In conclusion, there was a subsential increase in the demand for hamburgers and sea food, whereas there was a significant fall in the popularity of pizza.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart terminology Original: changes in the demand Suggested revision: changes in consumption Why it matters: Consumption is the more precise term for the amount of food eaten in this graph.
- 2. Correct final figure Original: 299 grams Suggested revision: approximately 280 grams Why it matters: The graph places hamburger consumption at about 280 grams in 1990.
- 3. Correct spelling Original: subsential Suggested revision: substantial Why it matters: The adjective is misspelled.
- 4. Use correct category Original: sea food Suggested revision: fish and chips Why it matters: The graph labels this category as fish and chips, not seafood generally.
- 5. Name the visual Original: The graph shows Suggested revision: The line graph shows Why it matters: Naming the visual as a line graph makes the introduction more precise.
- 6. Use formal list style Original: hamburgers, fish & chips and pizza Suggested revision: hamburgers, fish and chips, and pizza Why it matters: Spelling out and and punctuating the list gives it a more formal academic style.
- 7. Use concise phrasing Original: It is immediately apparent Suggested revision: It is clear Why it matters: The shorter phrase states the observation more directly.
- 8. Add introductory comma Original: in 1970 the most popular Suggested revision: in 1970, the most popular Why it matters: A comma clarifies the boundary after the introductory time phrase.
- 9. Use measured language Original: The striking feature Suggested revision: A notable feature Why it matters: Notable is a more measured description of the trend.
- 10. Identify the key trend Original: the demand for fish & chips Suggested revision: the sharp rise in fish and chips consumption Why it matters: This wording identifies the actual notable feature rather than merely naming the category.
- 11. Use precise measure Original: total demand for hamburgers Suggested revision: hamburger consumption Why it matters: Consumption is a more accurate label for the quantity shown in grams.
- 12. Use neutral wording Original: skyrocketed Suggested revision: rose sharply Why it matters: Rose sharply describes the increase in a neutral academic tone.
Suggested Rewrites
- changes in the demand changes in consumption
- 299 grams approximately 280 grams
- subsential substantial
- sea food fish and chips
- The graph shows The line graph shows
- hamburgers, fish & chips and pizza hamburgers, fish and chips, and pizza
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly organised by food type and gives an accurate broad overview of rising hamburger and fish-and-chip consumption alongside falling pizza consumption. Its main limitation is the uneven precision of the figures, including incorrect starting and ending values and the omitted late recovery in pizza consumption. The highest priority is to verify each data point against the graph and make more explicit comparisons across the three foods.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main overall trends and covers all three foods, but several figures are inaccurate and pizza's final rise is omitted.
Check exact values and turning points, especially the 1970 figures and pizza's slight increase after 1985.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from an overview through separate discussions of each food to a concise conclusion.
Strengthen cohesion by comparing the foods directly within body paragraphs rather than presenting each trend mainly in isolation.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of trend vocabulary, although some choices are exaggerated or imprecise and one spelling error is noticeable.
Use measured trend language such as rose steadily or fell gradually and proofread words such as substantial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally controlled, with occasional awkward constructions that do not impede meaning.
Improve article and preposition control in phrases such as started at 300 grams and with a total consumption of 15 grams.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the popularity of different fast foods in Britain and the trends in their consumption.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.