The two maps below show the village of Bunborough in the present day and plans for the village in 2024.
Sample Response
The maps illustrate the current map of the village Bunborough and the planned map of the village in 2024. Overall, the village is set to develop with better infrastructure and more attractions for tourists visiting the village.
Transport in the village is set to improve and the village housing will be reorganized. A new railway track is planned to be constructed which stretches from down near Lynwich, to up north towards Bunborough village, after which it continues toward the norht-eastern direction. Along with this, a new road is to be paved. This provides another connection from Bunborough to the road that travels towards Lynwich. The two houses between the river and the road is set to be reconstructed above the road to make way for the railway track, a new seventh house is to be constructed as well.
In terms of tourism, there will be massive improvements to the village. Two fishing ports will be replaced by a long promenade. Furthermore, two new hotels are planned to be built, one near the promenade, the other near the beach.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Redundant phrase Original: current map of the village Bunborough Suggested revision: current layout of the village of Bunborough Why it matters: Describing the map as the 'map of the village' is repetitive; refer to the layout or structure instead.
- 2. Informal directional phrasing Original: stretches from down near Lynwich, to up north towards Suggested revision: stretches from the south near Lynwich northwards towards Why it matters: Phrases like 'down near' and 'to up north' are overly informal for Academic Writing Task 1.
- 3. Spelling mistake Original: norht Suggested revision: north Why it matters: Correct the misspelling of 'north-eastern'.
- 4. Subject-verb agreement error Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The plural subject 'houses' requires the plural verb 'are'.
- 5. Repetitive phrasing Original: planned map of the village Suggested revision: proposed layout for the area Why it matters: Avoid repeating 'map of the village' twice in the same introduction sentence.
- 6. Word choice redundancy Original: attractions for tourists visiting the village Suggested revision: amenities for visitors Why it matters: Using 'tourists visiting the village' is somewhat redundant after 'attractions'.
- 7. Imprecise verb selection Original: paved Suggested revision: constructed Why it matters: 'Constructed' or 'built' is more appropriate than 'paved' when describing the addition of a major access road in map comparisons.
- 8. Imprecise location description Original: reconstructed above the road Suggested revision: relocated to the north of the main road Why it matters: 'Above the road' sounds like a vertical position; use cardinal directions like 'north of the road'.
- 9. Comma splice Original: track, a new seventh house Suggested revision: track; additionally, a new seventh house Why it matters: Joining two independent clauses with just a comma creates a comma splice.
- 10. Inappropriate tone Original: massive improvements Suggested revision: significant developments Why it matters: 'Massive' is overly informal and subjective for an academic report.
- 11. Inaccurate detail Original: Two fishing ports will be replaced Suggested revision: The fishing port piers will be replaced Why it matters: The original map labels a singular 'Fishing port' with piers, not 'Two fishing ports'.
- 12. Imprecise positioning Original: the other near the beach Suggested revision: the other adjacent to the road near the beach Why it matters: Specify that the second hotel is constructed inland west of the beach next to the new access road.
Suggested Rewrites
- current map of the village Bunborough current layout of the village of Bunborough
- stretches from down near Lynwich, to up north towards stretches from the south near Lynwich northwards towards
- norht north
- is are
- planned map of the village proposed layout for the area
- attractions for tourists visiting the village amenities for visitors
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively covers the main map transformations with a clear overall overview and logical thematic organization. However, minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement, and minor typos slightly lower the control of language. To improve, focus on double-checking grammatical accuracy and refining map-specific prepositional accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear overview and successfully identifies key changes in transport, housing, and tourist facilities across both maps.
Ensure all notable map details, such as explicitly mentioning the new train station along the railway line, are reported precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into paragraph topics with clear progression and appropriate linking phrases.
Vary cohesive markers further to connect specific map locations and sequence development steps smoothly.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary suited to describing map changes is used, such as 'reconstructed' and 'promenade'.
Proofread carefully to eliminate minor spelling slips like 'norht-eastern'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences and passive constructions are used accurately overall, though minor subject-verb agreement errors occur.
Check subject-verb agreement in complex sentences, ensuring plural subjects like 'houses' take plural verbs.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The two maps below show the village of Bunborough in the present day and plans for the village in 2024.
Your response
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