The table below shows the production of cacao beans in six regions between 1992 and 1998.
Sample Response
The table illustrates number of cacao beans produced in six different regions from 1992 to 1998.
Overall, it can be seen that Asia and South America were the biggest producers of cacao beans in all years, and both regions experienced substantial increases in production compared to other regions.
Asia and South America followed similar trends in production over the period, producing 119,000 and 143,000 tons in 1992, and rising substantially to a record high of 436,000 and 389,000 tons respectively. The Oceania region also saw a dramatic rise in production, although the figures were much lower at 40,000 tons in 1992 and 77,000 tons in 1998.
Meanwhile, production in North and Central America, and England, was relatively stable, with figures for both countries fluctuating around 50,000 tons per year. Figures for production in Africa were slightly lower, fluctuating at around 30,000 tons per year, except for a significant rise in production in 1996 where the figure almost reached 120,000 tons.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and quantity Original: illustrates number of cacao beans Suggested revision: illustrates the quantity of cacao beans Why it matters: The noun phrase needs an article, and production is more naturally expressed as a quantity.
- 2. Complete the comparison Original: compared to other regions Suggested revision: compared with those in the other regions Why it matters: The comparison should link the increases in these regions with the increases elsewhere.
- 3. Moderate the description Original: dramatic Suggested revision: substantial Why it matters: Substantial describes the increase from 40,000 to 77,000 more precisely.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: the figures were much lower at Suggested revision: its figures were much lower, at Why it matters: The singular possessive clearly links the figures to Oceania and the comma introduces the values.
- 5. Qualify the pattern Original: slightly Suggested revision: generally Why it matters: Africa was lower in three years but rose sharply to 119,000 in 1996, so 'slightly' is misleading.
- 6. Use time relative Original: in 1996 where Suggested revision: in 1996, when Why it matters: Use 'when' rather than 'where' to refer to a year.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: Asia and South America followed similar trends in production over the period, producing 119,000 and 143,000 tons in 1992, and rising substantially to a record high of 436,000 and 389,000 tons respectively. Suggested revision: Asia and South America followed similar trends over the period: their production rose from 119,000 and 143,000 tonnes in 1992 to respective highs of 436,000 and 389,000 tonnes in 1998. Why it matters: This structure makes the starting and ending figures easier to match with the two regions.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Meanwhile, production in North and Central America, and England, was relatively stable, with figures for both countries fluctuating around 50,000 tons per year. Suggested revision: Meanwhile, output in North and Central America fell from 46,000 to 25,000 tonnes before recovering to 46,000, while England varied between 43,000 and 67,000 tonnes. Why it matters: The rewrite accurately shows that North and Central America fell sharply rather than simply fluctuating near 50,000.
- 9. Highlight the exceptional spike Suggested revision: Add Africa's temporary surge in 1996 to the overview alongside the dominant growth in Asia and South America. Why it matters: The jump to 119,000 followed by a fall to 25,000 is a major feature of the table.
Suggested Rewrites
- illustrates number of cacao beans illustrates the quantity of cacao beans
- compared to other regions compared with those in the other regions
- dramatic substantial
- the figures were much lower at its figures were much lower, at
- slightly generally
- in 1996 where in 1996, when
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear overview and selects the main regional patterns with accurate supporting figures, especially the dominant production of Asia and South America. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision, notably describing their trajectories as similar and calling regions countries. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish the contrasting year-by-year patterns more precisely while retaining the concise comparative structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected, largely accurate comparisons cover the dominant producers and the most notable changes.
Differentiate Asia's sustained rise from South America's early decline and late surge instead of describing their trends as similar.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into an overview and two focused detail paragraphs with clear progression.
Strengthen the link between the overview and details by organizing the final two paragraphs explicitly around rising and fluctuating regions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses varied and generally precise vocabulary for production levels, changes, and stability.
Use more exact labels such as regions rather than countries and refer to the quantity or production of cacao beans.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only isolated article and relative-word slips.
Proofread for small omissions and choices such as adding the in the opening sentence and using when for a year.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the production of cacao beans in six regions between 1992 and 1998.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.