The table below shows the percentage of journey by different means in 4 countries and the bar graph shows the reasons for Canadian people to use a car to reach their workplace.
Sample Response
The table compares the types of transports used in four countries – Canada, Belgium, Germany and Netherlands while the bar graph presents data why Canadians prefer personal cars to reach their offices. Getting back to the details, cars are the most preferred mode of transportations in all the four given countries and the percentages of tours made by citizens in these countries by cars ranged from 47 in Netherlands and 90 in Canada. In Netherlands, a high proportion of trips are made by bicycle, more than one-fourth, and on foot, 18%. The highest percentage of public transport is used by German and that comprise 18% of their total journey. The bar chart, on the other hand, explains why Canadians prefer cars to commute to their office. Interestingly, the majority of the Canadians (38%) use cars to reach offices since they do not have any alternative. A sizable percentage said using cars is more convenient (12%). Other factors listed seems like more related to people’s need than preference as working at night shift and work related needs.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Uncountable noun Original: types of transports Suggested revision: modes of transport Why it matters: “Transport” is normally uncountable here; “modes of transport” is the natural chart-description phrase.
- 2. Missing preposition Original: presents data why Suggested revision: presents data on why Why it matters: Use “data on why” to connect the noun “data” to the reason clause.
- 3. Natural vehicle term Original: personal cars Suggested revision: private cars Why it matters: “Private cars” is the more natural contrast with public transport.
- 4. Use commute wording Original: reach their offices Suggested revision: commute to work Why it matters: The visual concerns journeys to the workplace generally, not necessarily to an office.
- 5. Direct transition Original: Getting back to the details Suggested revision: Turning to the details Why it matters: This is a more concise and formal transition into the data.
- 6. Correct collocation Original: mode of transportations Suggested revision: mode of transport Why it matters: “Transportation” is not normally pluralized after “mode of” in this context.
- 7. Accurate data noun Original: tours made by citizens Suggested revision: journeys made by residents Why it matters: The table measures journeys, not leisure tours.
- 8. Complete the range Original: ranged from 47 in Netherlands and 90 in Canada Suggested revision: ranged from 47% in the Netherlands to 90% in Canada Why it matters: A range requires “from … to,” and the values should retain their percentage units.
- 9. Add the article Original: In Netherlands Suggested revision: In the Netherlands Why it matters: The country name conventionally takes the definite article.
- 10. Country form Original: used by German Suggested revision: used in Germany Why it matters: “German” is an adjective or singular person; the sentence refers to usage in the country.
- 11. Agreement and reference Original: that comprise Suggested revision: which comprises Why it matters: The relative clause refers to the singular percentage, so the verb must be singular.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: majority of the Canadians Suggested revision: majority of Canadians Why it matters: A general reference to a nationality does not need “the” here.
Suggested Rewrites
- types of transports modes of transport
- presents data why presents data on why
- personal cars private cars
- reach their offices commute to work
- Getting back to the details Turning to the details
- mode of transportations mode of transport
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the dominant use of cars across all four countries and selects several relevant figures from both visuals. However, it gives an incorrect value for convenience, omits most of the bar-chart figures and several useful cross-country comparisons, and presents everything in one paragraph with frequent awkward collocations and agreement errors. Prioritise a clearer overview, fuller and fully accurate data coverage, and more controlled sentence construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main table trend that cars are the most common mode in every country and accurately reports several figures, including the Canadian and Dutch car shares, Dutch active travel, German public transport, and the leading Canadian reason. However, the overview does not cover the main pattern in the reasons chart, the convenience figure is incorrectly reported as 12% rather than 22%, and most remaining reasons and several useful country comparisons are omitted.
State one overview sentence for each visual, then report all five Canadian reasons accurately and add selective comparisons showing how Belgium and Germany differ from Canada and the Netherlands.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information moves from the table to the bar chart in a generally understandable order, and basic linking helps the reader follow the shift. Nevertheless, the entire report is one paragraph, the opening of the detail section is mechanical, and some long sentences carry too many ideas without clear internal control.
Use four purposeful paragraphs: introduction, overview, table details, and reasons-chart details; group related figures within each detail paragraph and use direct comparison language.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to describe preferences, proportions, commuting, and causes, but several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, including “types of transports,” “tours,” and “mode of transportations.” These problems are noticeable but usually do not prevent understanding.
Use standard Task 1 combinations such as “modes of transport,” “journeys made,” “commute to work,” and “the proportion of respondents,” while avoiding inflated alternatives that change the meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, and its meaning remains mostly clear. Regular errors occur with articles, agreement, relative clauses, nationality forms, and comparison structures, especially in “used by German and that comprise” and the final sentence.
Check each sentence for subject–verb agreement and articles, and build numerical comparisons with controlled forms such as “ranged from X to Y” and “was used by X%.”