The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK. Expenditure on Fast Foods (in Million Pounds) by Income Groups, UK 1990
Sample Response
The column graph compares how much money British citizens with different economic status spent on three fast food items in 1990. Overall, high and average income class British spent more amount on hamburgers and low-income class preferred to eat fish & chips as their spending pattern suggests. As is presented in the diagram, rich people spent the highest amount on purchasing hamburgers, around 47 million Pounds, and their expenses for fish & chips and pizza were between 17 to 19 million. Interestingly, Average-income class spent more money on fish & chips than rich customers did. They spent exactly 25 millions on fish & chips though their highest amount went on hamburgers, roughly 33 million. Though rich British spent more on pizza than that of fish & ships, average-income class in Britain did the opposite. Finally, low-income class people spent a considerably fewer amount on fast food and their most preferred item was fish & chips for which they spent around 17 million Pound. Their spending on hamburgers was less than 15 million while they spent the least amount on pizza, which amounted to nearly 7 million Pounds.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Chart category Original: economic status Suggested revision: income levels Why it matters: The x-axis groups people by income.
- 2. Awkward phrase Original: spent more amount Suggested revision: spent more Why it matters: More already expresses amount.
- 3. Avoid inference Original: preferred to eat Suggested revision: spent most on Why it matters: The chart shows spending, not actual preference or consumption.
- 4. Formal group name Original: rich people Suggested revision: high-income consumers Why it matters: This is more formal and matches the chart.
- 5. Capitalization Original: million Pounds Suggested revision: million pounds Why it matters: Pounds should not be capitalized here.
- 6. Range grammar Original: between 17 to 19 million Suggested revision: between 17 and 19 million Why it matters: Use between...and for ranges.
- 7. Number phrase Original: 25 millions Suggested revision: 25 million Why it matters: Million stays singular after a number.
- 8. Formal wording Original: rich British Suggested revision: high-income Britons Why it matters: This is more formal and precise.
- 9. Food name typo Original: fish & ships Suggested revision: fish and chips Why it matters: The chart category is fish and chips.
- 10. Comparison phrase Original: a considerably fewer amount Suggested revision: considerably less Why it matters: Use less for uncountable spending.
- 11. Plural unit Original: million Pound Suggested revision: million pounds Why it matters: Use pounds for the currency unit in this phrase.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Overall, high and average income class British spent more amount on hamburgers and low-income class preferred to eat fish & chips as their spending pattern suggests. Suggested revision: Overall, high- and average-income groups spent the most on hamburgers, while the low-income group spent the most on fish and chips. Why it matters: This keeps the main pattern but avoids inferring eating preference from spending.
Suggested Rewrites
- economic status income levels
- spent more amount spent more
- preferred to eat spent most on
- rich people high-income consumers
- million Pounds million pounds
- between 17 to 19 million between 17 and 19 million
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report accurately identifies the main pattern: higher- and average-income groups spent most on hamburgers, while the low-income group spent most on fish and chips. Most figures are close, though some values are rounded and the unit is sometimes expressed awkwardly.
Keep the key values precise: high-income hamburger spending about 47 million pounds, average-income hamburgers about 33 million, and low-income pizza about 7 million.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overview and proceeds by income group, which is logical. Some sentences are long and include repeated comparisons that could be grouped more tightly.
Use one paragraph for high and average income groups and one for the low-income group, with a short final comparison if needed.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for a bar chart, but expressions such as economic status, rich people, preferred to eat, and fish and ships are inaccurate or informal.
Use neutral data language: income groups, high-income consumers, expenditure, spending, and fish and chips.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is clear, but there are repeated article, plural, and comparison errors.
Check number phrases such as 25 million, between 17 and 19 million, and million pounds.