The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the world and in different continents.
Sample Response
The given bar graph gives data on the number of people living in urban areas in different continents of the world. The data are given for three different years, i.e. 1950, 2007 and projected for the year 2030. As is presented from the given data, initially in 1950, on an average 29% people of the world lived in the urban area. In this year, the highest percentage of the population lived in urban areas were in North America which was 64%. In Africa and Asia, these percentages were lowest (15 and 17 percentage respectively). Half of the Europeans lived in urban areas while this percentage was 42% in Latin America. After 57 years in 2007, the percentage of urban area population reached to 49% in the world. North America again had the highest percentage of the population who lived in urban areas. The lowest percentage was in Africa (37%) and in other continents, the percentages were around 40 to 70. The percentage of the population lived in urban areas increased significantly in 2007 compared to the percentages of 1950. It is projected that 60% of the world population would live in urban areas in the year 2030. This percentage would be more than 80 in both of the American continents. In Europe, this would increase to 78 and both in Asia and Africa around half of their population would live in urban areas. In summary, the percentage of people lived in urban areas increased over time and more and more people would be living in urban areas over time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong measure Original: number of people Suggested revision: percentage of people Why it matters: The chart reports percentages, not absolute numbers of people.
- 2. Article and noun form Original: on an average 29% people Suggested revision: on average, 29% of people Why it matters: Use the fixed phrase “on average” and add “of” after a percentage.
- 3. Plural reference Original: in the urban area Suggested revision: in urban areas Why it matters: The chart refers to urban areas generally, not one specific area.
- 4. Agreement error Original: population lived in urban areas were Suggested revision: population living in urban areas was Why it matters: The subject “percentage” is singular, and the phrase needs a participle.
- 5. Percentage wording Original: 17 percentage respectively Suggested revision: 17%, respectively Why it matters: Use the percent sign or “per cent”, not “percentage”, after a number.
- 6. Natural phrasing Original: percentage of urban area population Suggested revision: percentage of the population living in urban areas Why it matters: This is clearer and matches the chart’s measure.
- 7. Too vague Original: around 40 to 70 Suggested revision: between 41% and 76% Why it matters: Exact or close figures would make the comparison stronger.
- 8. Comparison phrase Original: compared to the percentages of 1950 Suggested revision: compared with the 1950 figures Why it matters: Use a concise comparison phrase for data.
- 9. Missing percent Original: more than 80 in both of the American continents Suggested revision: over 80% in Latin America and North America Why it matters: Include the unit and name the two categories clearly.
- 10. Verb form Original: people lived in urban areas increased Suggested revision: people living in urban areas increased Why it matters: A participle phrase is needed after “people”.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: The data are given for three different years, i.e. 1950, 2007 and projected for the year 2030. Suggested revision: The chart compares the proportions of people living in urban areas in 1950 and 2007, with projections for 2030. Why it matters: This rewrite states the visual’s scope more accurately and concisely.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: The lowest percentage was in Africa (37%) and in other continents, the percentages were around 40 to 70. Suggested revision: In 2007, Africa remained lowest at 37%, while Asia reached 41%, Europe 72%, Latin America 76%, and North America 79%. Why it matters: Specific figures improve Task Achievement and avoid vague ranges.
Suggested Rewrites
- number of people percentage of people
- on an average 29% people on average, 29% of people
- in the urban area in urban areas
- population lived in urban areas were population living in urban areas was
- 17 percentage respectively 17%, respectively
- percentage of urban area population percentage of the population living in urban areas
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report covers the three years, identifies the overall rise in urban populations, and gives most key figures accurately. Task Achievement is limited by some vague ranges, a delayed overview, and incomplete comparison of the 2007 and 2030 continental patterns.
Move the overview to the start and compare the highest, lowest, and fastest-rising continents directly, using the exact figures from the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced by year and mostly easy to follow, but cohesion relies heavily on repeated phrases such as “percentage” and “urban areas”.
Group details into fewer comparative paragraphs and use clearer linking phrases to show contrasts between continents and years.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for describing a bar chart, but there are several imprecise choices such as “number of people” for percentages and repetitive wording.
Use precise chart language such as “proportion”, “share”, “rose to”, “was projected to”, and “percentage points”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, but article use, agreement, and clause structure are repeatedly inaccurate.
Edit noun phrases and verb forms carefully, especially after “percentage of”, “people”, and projected future statements.