The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s
Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates how agricultural agricultural land becomes degradedland become land degradation, while the table compares the causes of land degradationpercentage of land degradation causes of three different areas(North America, Europe, and OceaniaOcenia), in the 1990sin 1990s. Overall, focusing on the highest figures, over-grazing was the main causewas leading the main cause for land degradation, whereas other factors reported the lowest rates. Meanwhile, turning to each region, Europe experienced the highest proportion of land degradation, while North America was affectedaffacted the least. In terms of overall causes of land degradation, over-grazing is the main factor, followed closely by deforestation and over-cultivation. Over-grazing accounted for 35% of worldwide degradation, exceeding deforestation (30%) and over-cultivation(28%) whereas other causes accounted for 7%, substantially lower than the specified categoriessubstantially lower than other categories. Overall, agricultural activities were the main factors into land degradation. Regarding impact of these causes on each regionimpacts of causes to each region, Europe experienced the highest percentage compared with other areas. Turning to Europe, the area reported the highest total percentage of degraded land (23%), with 9.8%reported the highest percentage (23%), with 9.8% land degraded by deforestation while North America and Oceania accounted for 5% and 13%. In Europe, deforestation accounted for the highest figure, while over-grazing was the dominant factorIn Europe deforestation shows the highest figure, while over-grazing the dominant factor in Oceania. By contrast, over-cultivation shows the largest percentage in North America. Overall, the primary cause of land degradation varied considerably from one region to another.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay successfully presents a clear overview and accurate data keying into both the pie chart and table. However, repetitive structural transitions and frequent grammatical inaccuracies moderate the overall clarity. To raise the score, focus on eliminating basic errors in verb phrasing and varying transition phrases across paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All main key features from both the pie chart and table are selected, reported accurately, and effectively summarized in a clear overview.
Ensure comparisons between the table data and pie chart figures are integrated even more naturally to highlight major regional contrasts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs, though transition markers are somewhat mechanical and the word 'overall' is overused.
Vary cohesive devices and avoid starting multiple paragraphs or internal summary sentences with 'Overall'.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a suitable range of task-specific vocabulary, though minor spelling mistakes and awkward word combinations appear occasionally.
Refine word choices and double-check spelling for regional names and common adjectives, such as 'Oceania' and 'affected'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, but frequent minor grammatical slips and incomplete clauses affect precision.
Check for clause completeness and correct verb forms, such as ensuring minor verbs like 'was' are not omitted in comparative structures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.