The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Sample Response

1

The two distinct diagramsflow charts delineate the detailed process of producing cement which involves particular stages and equipment as well as the manufacturing procedure of concrete for constructing buildings from cement. There are six sequential stages in the production of cement, commencing with crushing limestone and clay into powdercommencing with mixing limestone and clay, and culminating in the packaging of cement. The concrete production consists of combining cement with water, sand and gravel in specific proportionsat certain proportions. This process can be recategorized into four major stages, namely the combination of raw materials, heating and grinding, packaging and final mixing to generate finished concrete. To begin with, limestone and clay are crushed into powder using a crusher before being mixed thoroughly in the mixer. Subsequently, the mixture is heated in a rotating heater to form hot powder which is groundgrounded into smaller particles before being packed in bags. When it comes to the manufacturing of concrete for construction, four essential ingredientsindispensable elements are needed, including cement, water, sand and gravel which consists of small stonesthat is a sort of small stones. Gravel accounts for 50% of the total mixture, followed by sand at 25%. Cement and water make up relatively small percentages at 15% and 10% respectively. Eventually, the four ingredientsfour ingredients are mixed in the concrete mixer completely, producing the final concreteproducing final material.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response effectively summarizes both processes, accurately reporting all major stages and proportions with a clear overall structure. The primary strength lies in the logical sequencing and appropriate vocabulary used to describe multi-step diagrams. To improve, ensure past participle forms of irregular verbs are used correctly and refine initial stage descriptions to match the diagram flow precisely.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

All key stages of cement manufacturing and exact ingredient proportions for concrete production are presented accurately with a clear overview.

Next step

Ensure the order of initial actions is strictly accurate, as crushing occurs before mixing in the cement process.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Information is logically organized into distinct paragraphs with clear sequential transitions guiding the reader through both diagrams.

Next step

Avoid slightly repetitive overview framing to keep paragraphing and structural progression perfectly concise.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

A good variety of process-specific vocabulary is used flexibly to describe equipment and production steps.

Next step

Watch out for word form inaccuracies, such as using 'ground' instead of 'grounded' for the past participle of grind.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

A wide range of complex grammatical structures, including passive voice and participle clauses, is used accurately overall.

Next step

Ensure correct article usage and noun-verb agreement when adding explanatory clauses to percentage details.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Your response

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