The line graph below shows the oil production and consumption in China between 1982 and 2006.
Sample Response
The line chart illustrates how much oil was produced and consumed in China from 1982 to 2006.
Overall, it can be seen that there was an upward trend in both the production and consumption of oil during the given period. In addition, oil consumption climbed significantly faster compared to its production over 24 years.
At the beginning of the period, the figures for both oil production and consumption were nearly equal, at around 2 million barrels per day. After 8 years, the amount of oil produced rose significantly by 1 million and remained unchanged until 1994. Meanwhile, that of oil consumed witnessed a stability until 1990, after which it climbed remarkably to 3 million in 1994.
In the second half of the period, the figure for oil production increased slightly to 3.5 million barrels per day. By contrast, the amount of oil consumed grew steadily by 1 million every 4 years, and finally reached a peak of 6 million at the end of the period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix comparison form Original: significantly faster compared to Suggested revision: significantly faster than Why it matters: Use 'faster than' for a direct comparative structure.
- 2. Clarify the period Original: over 24 years Suggested revision: over the 24-year period Why it matters: The revised phrase identifies the complete chart period more precisely.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: witnessed a stability Suggested revision: remained stable Why it matters: 'Remained stable' is the natural way to describe an unchanged figure.
- 4. Use precise trend verb Original: climbed remarkably Suggested revision: rose sharply Why it matters: 'Rose sharply' describes a substantial increase more naturally.
- 5. Correct 1994 value Original: 3 million in 1994 Suggested revision: approximately 3.5 million in 1994 Why it matters: The consumption line reaches about 3.5 million barrels per day in 1994.
- 6. Add endpoint timing Original: increased slightly to 3.5 million barrels per day Suggested revision: increased gradually to about 3.5 million barrels per day by 2006 Why it matters: The graph shows production reaching this approximate level at the end of the period.
- 7. Use noun form Original: how much oil was produced and consumed Suggested revision: the amounts of oil produced and consumed Why it matters: The noun phrase is more precise for reporting quantities on a chart.
- 8. Make overview direct Original: it can be seen that there was Suggested revision: there was Why it matters: Removing the introductory filler makes the overview more direct.
- 9. Use concise phrasing Original: an upward trend in both the production and consumption of oil Suggested revision: upward trends in both oil production and consumption Why it matters: The plural noun phrase describes the two series more concisely.
- 10. Tighten time phrase Original: during the given period Suggested revision: over the period Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same time reference clearly.
- 11. Clarify comparison Original: its Suggested revision: oil Why it matters: Repeating the measure avoids an unclear possessive reference.
- 12. Fix subject phrase Original: that of oil consumed Suggested revision: oil consumption Why it matters: The original substitute construction is ungrammatical in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- significantly faster compared to significantly faster than
- over 24 years over the 24-year period
- witnessed a stability remained stable
- climbed remarkably rose sharply
- 3 million in 1994 approximately 3.5 million in 1994
- increased slightly to 3.5 million barrels per day increased gradually to about 3.5 million barrels per day by 2006
Why this response received Band 7.5
The report has a clear overview, logical chronological organisation and strong control of sentence structure. The main weakness is precision: consumption was about 3.5 million barrels per day in 1994, and its later increases were not uniformly one million every four years. Check each plotted value and interval more closely, then preserve the current concise structure while reporting changes with greater numerical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main divergence and covers both series across the period, though a few values and interval changes are imprecise.
Report consumption at about 3.5 million in 1994 and distinguish the smaller 1994-1998 rise from the larger later increases.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and two chronological detail paragraphs form a clear, coherent progression with effective comparison.
Link each later-period data point more explicitly to its year to make the progression even easier to verify.
Lexical Resource
Trend and comparison vocabulary is varied and generally precise, although a few collocations are unnatural.
Replace phrases such as 'witnessed a stability' with natural forms such as 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex sentence forms is used with strong control and only minor lapses.
Refine comparative constructions such as 'faster compared to its production' to 'faster than production'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph below shows the oil production and consumption in China between 1982 and 2006.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.