The graph below shows the changes in food consumption by Chinese people between 1985 and 2010.
Sample Response
The graph shows changes in the amount of fish, salt and meat eaten per person per week in China between 1985 and 2010.
From the graph we can see that people in China consumed more fish than either meat or salt throughout the period. In 1985, the consumption of fish stood at 610 grams, then increased to 700 grams in 1990. Although it dipped in 1995, it then rose steadily and reached 850 grams in 2010.
In contrast, there was a consistent drop in salt consumption. The amount consumed decreased steadily from almost 500 grams per person to only 200 grams by 2010. The amount of meat consumed weekly started at about 100 grams. However, this gradually increased throughout the period. By 2010 it was at the same level as the consumption of salt.
Overall, the consumption of fish rose, while the consumption of salt fell. In addition, the consumption of meat, while at a relatively low level, rose significantly during this period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise measure Original: amount of fish, salt and meat eaten Suggested revision: consumption of fish, salt and meat Why it matters: The replacement states the measured quantity more directly and naturally.
- 2. Use trend language Original: consistent drop Suggested revision: steady decline Why it matters: This is the conventional concise term for the uninterrupted downward trend shown.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: The amount consumed Suggested revision: Salt consumption Why it matters: Naming the series removes any possible ambiguity about which amount decreased.
- 4. Show final plateau Original: gradually increased throughout the period Suggested revision: gradually increased until 2005 and then remained stable Why it matters: The meat series levels off at about 200 grams from 2005 to 2010.
- 5. Name both series Original: it was at the same level as the consumption of salt Suggested revision: meat consumption was at the same level as salt consumption Why it matters: Repeating the series names makes the final comparison immediately clear.
- 6. Make comparison explicit Original: while at a relatively low level Suggested revision: although lower than fish consumption Why it matters: The visual supports a direct comparison with fish rather than the vague phrase 'relatively low'.
- 7. Add a mid-period comparison Suggested revision: Include one mid-period comparison showing the relative levels of salt and meat before they converge in 2010. Why it matters: A direct intermediate comparison would strengthen selection of key features across the two series.
- 8. Position overview earlier Suggested revision: Move this overview directly after the introduction so the main trends guide the detailed paragraphs. Why it matters: Earlier placement would make the report's progression easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- amount of fish, salt and meat eaten consumption of fish, salt and meat
- consistent drop steady decline
- The amount consumed Salt consumption
- gradually increased throughout the period gradually increased until 2005 and then remained stable
- it was at the same level as the consumption of salt meat consumption was at the same level as salt consumption
- while at a relatively low level although lower than fish consumption
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, accurate overview and selects the main trends and useful figures, with especially effective comparisons between the three foods. Its main limitation is that it could make the contrasting rates of change and the final convergence of meat and salt more explicit. Prioritise a slightly more analytical overview and sharper cross-series comparisons while retaining the concise, controlled style.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies all three overall trends and supports them with appropriate start, peak, dip, and end figures.
Make the overview more comparative by highlighting fish's dominance and the convergence of meat and salt in 2010.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically through a clear introduction, detailed comparisons, and a distinct overview, with cohesive links used naturally.
Integrate the overview immediately after the introduction to establish the main pattern before presenting the figures.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and well suited to trend description, including effective choices such as stood at, dipped, and rose steadily.
Vary repeated nouns such as consumption and amount with carefully chosen references while preserving numerical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex structures is used accurately, with strong control of clauses, tense, and punctuation.
Add a carefully controlled comparative clause to express the relationship among all three series more compactly.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the changes in food consumption by Chinese people between 1985 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.