The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. The chart illustrates the manufacturing of chocolates.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Overall, it is clearimmediately apparent from the chart that there are Deletea total of 10 stages into producing chocolatechocolates, beginning with ripe pods growing on cacao treesbeginning with the ripe pods collected from cocoa trees and culminating in the production of liquid chocolateculminating in liquid chocolate produced.
FirstIn detail, ripe red pods have been collected from cocoa trees that only grow in South America, Africa and Indonesia. Next, pods are harvested, and the white cocoa beanswhite cocoa beans are removed from the podspulled from outposts. Following this, beans are fermentedgo through the process of fermentation. After fermented beans get spread under the sun for drying then, dry beans are collected in massive sacks and transported by different modes of transportation such as lorries and trains.
In the subsequent stage, dried beans are taken to factories and go through the roasting process. Moreover, beans get roasted at 350°C and processed for the next stage. The beans are crushed by a large round machinelarge round machines, which separateswhich are separated the outer shell from the beans and moves the inner material to the final stage of the processmove to the final stage of the process. The inner part of the beans isgets pressed, and liquid chocolate is producedchocolate is produced in liquid form.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response successfully presents the process in a clear chronological sequence, includes an effective overview, and covers all ten stages from growing cocoa pods to pressing the beans into liquid chocolate. Its main limitation is recurrent grammatical and lexical awkwardness, including an inaccurate claim that the trees only grow in the named regions, so the priority is to use precise process verbs and consistently controlled passive clauses.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview and covers all ten stages accurately apart from a small unsupported claim about where cocoa trees can grow.
Describe the regions as the locations shown for cultivation without adding the unsupported restriction that cocoa trees only grow there.
Coherence and Cohesion
The stages progress logically from cultivation to production, although some linking is mechanical or awkwardly placed.
Use simpler chronological links and avoid additive connectors such as Moreover when merely continuing a sequence.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient process vocabulary to convey the sequence, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including outposts and massive sacks.
Use exact visual terms such as pods, large sacks, crushed and outer shell removed.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear, but recurring errors in passive forms, clause structure and sentence boundaries limit grammatical control.
Practise consistent present-simple passives and separate overloaded sequences into accurately formed sentences.